Guilt pricked Squirrelflight’s pelt. She’d forgotten about Sparkpelt and Bramblestar while she was hunting. They’d be sick with worry. She should be with them, not here. “I need to see my Clanmates. Take me to the pond.” She stared at Sandstorm. If there was a way to see her living Clanmates, perhaps she could send them a message. “I need to go back.”
Sandstorm frowned. “I don’t know if you can.”
“I have to try.” Squirrelflight padded past her mother and headed for the meadow where she’d woken. Sandstorm followed, Larksong, Hollyleaf, and the kits at her heels. Even the kits kept up as she broke from the forest and crossed the meadow to the pond. The surface shimmered in the fading light as she stopped beside it. She peered in, anxiety sparking in her belly as she saw nothing but her reflection. “How do I see them?”
“See who?” Leafpool’s mew took her by surprise. Her sister was hurrying toward her, Cinderpelt at her side.
“I want to see Sparkpelt.” Squirrelflight touched her paw to the water. As ripples spread around it, she glimpsed the ThunderClan camp. She dropped into a crouch and peered harder into the pond. The medicine den opened before her. Alderheart hadn’t moved. He was still huddled beside her nest. Leafpool lay next to her, Jayfeather at her side. In the hazy shadows she could make out Bramblestar. His eyes were hollow with grief. Her heart twisted inside her chest. “I must get to them. I have to tell them I’m coming back.”
“You can only watch.” Sandstorm’s flank brushed hers softly.
“There must be some way to send them a message.” Squirrelflight looked again, her heart lurching as she realized that she couldn’t see her daughter. “Where’s Sparkpelt?”
“She’s probably with her kits,” Sandstorm murmured.
“Or she could be grieving,” Larksong mewed. “I can never see her when she’s really upset. It’s like she’s swallowed by shadows.”
Foreboding trickled like ice water through Squirrelflight’s pelt. “She needs me.” Her words felt thick. She sat up. “They all need me.”
Leafpool padded closer. “There’s nothing we can do,” she mewed gently.
“But you hear from StarClan all the time,” Squirrelflight insisted. “There must be a way to reach them. How do you share with StarClan when you’re at the Moonpool?”
Leafpool shrugged. “I just touch my nose to the water and I’m there with them.”
Squirrelflight jabbed her nose into the pond. Water raced up her nose and made her sneeze.
Leafpool ran her tail along Squirrelflight’s spine. “They’ll be okay,” she soothed.
“No, they won’t!” Panic fluttered at the edge of Squirrelflight’s thoughts. “I have to reach them.” She stared urgently at Leafpool. “Perhaps if you try too. We have two paws here and two paws beside the lake. If we try hard enough, we have to be able to find our way back.”
Leafpool shook her head. “I don’t want to go back yet. It’s been so long since I’ve seen Hollyleaf, Sandstorm, and Firestar. I want to stay with them while I can.”
“But Sparkpelt needs us.” Squirrelflight blinked at her.
“Sparkpelt needs
Squirrelflight saw calmness in Leafpool’s gaze.
Dandelionkit was chasing Flickerkit around her brother. She stopped as she saw Squirrelflight padding toward them. “Have you seen all your Clanmates in the pond?”
“Not yet.” Squirrelflight ignored the guilt pricking beneath her pelt. “I have to go back.”
“Now?” Juniperkit’s eyes widened.
“But you only just got here,” Dandelionkit mewed.
“I’ll return,” Squirrelflight promised. “You just have to be patient a little while longer.” She glanced at Flickerkit and Sandstorm. “And you have friends here, and kin. I’ll be back before you know it.”
“Don’t you
“I can’t stay yet,” Squirrelflight told him. “There are cats I left behind. They still need me. More than you do.”
“Okay, then.” Dandelionkit lifted her chin bravely. “I can wait,” she mewed.
Juniperkit glanced at his sister uncertainly. “So can I, I guess.”
Squirrelflight touched her muzzle to his head, then nuzzled Dandelionkit’s ears. “Be good,” she murmured softly. “Keep practicing your hunting skills.”
Juniperkit flicked his tail. “By the time you get back, we’ll be able to catch whole squirrels.”
“I’m sure you will.” Squirrelflight’s chest tightened as she turned back toward the pond.
Larksong padded closer. “If you reach Sparkpelt, tell her I love her. Tell her not to be unhappy. I’ll take care of Flickerkit until she can join us. But she has to be happy. She has to make a life without me. I don’t want her to grieve.”
