Stonemouth полностью

‘Fine. Working this weekend. He’ll be here for you and Ellie’s.’ Jolie looked at Hannah, who was peeking at me through her mum’s hair. ‘Left the boys with Mum but thought I’d bring this one along to see her first wedding.’

‘I was just on my way to the bar. Get you anything?’

‘I’ll come along. G&T for me.’

‘Any tips?’

‘What for?’

‘A happy marriage.’

‘I’m not married?’

‘As good as, though, yeah?’

‘As good as,’ Jolie conceded.

We were sitting at her table. It was mostly deserted as people danced. She watched Hannah tentatively exploring the seats and sections of table close to where we sat. Hannah looked back at Jolie every now and again. I’d caught a glimpse of Ellie, dancing.

‘Let me think,’ Jolie said. ‘I know: don’t have children.’

‘Eh?’ I said.

‘Seriously.’

‘Seriously?’

‘Your decision, the two of you, obviously,’ Jolie said. ‘But, yes, that’s my advice.’

‘But you’ve got three!’

‘So I know what I’m talking about.’ Jolie waved at Hannah, who was holding onto a chair at another table a few metres away. Jolie looked back to me and gave a small laugh. She leaned forward and patted me on the hand. ‘And I love them all dearly,’ she said, in a sort of there-there-it’s-all-right voice, ‘and I wouldn’t be without them, and I love Mark too and he makes me feel loved and cherished and protected and all that, but if I could rewind the clock, had never had the kids, didn’t know them as people … No, I wouldn’t have any.’

‘Fuck!’ I breathed, then glanced guiltily at Hannah, though she was probably too far away to hear; the music was loud. ‘Beg your pardon.’ I leaned closer. ‘But why not?’

Jolie played with her empty G&T glass, revolving it on the white tablecloth. ‘Oh, just because they take over your life. They become your life. I sort of had plans? But, well.’

I felt shocked. Jolie had been a great snowboarder and her ambition had been to represent the UK at the Olympics, and she had wanted to be a doctor: specifically a cancer specialist, after watching her mum’s mum waste away. I wasn’t sure what to say.

‘Another G&T?’ I asked.

She smiled. ‘Why not?’

Heading for the bar, I caught a glimpse of electric blue, bright in the flash of a camera, and saw Ellie, polkaing wildly with a guy I half recognised. I waved, but she was too busy trying not to get her feet stood on.

When I came back from the bar, two couples had sat back down at the table, red-faced after the latest dance. Hannah was on Jolie’s lap. Hannah sniffed, as if she’d been crying.

‘Got a flash right in her face,’ Jolie told me.

‘Aw,’ I said to Hannah. She turned away a little, but then looked back. I got a wee smile. A tiny wee smile, and my heart melted. I looked back at her mum, frowning a lot and shaking my head.

‘Seriously seriously?’

Jolie laughed. Hannah gazed straight up at her mum’s chin.

‘Stewart,’ Jolie said, smiling, ‘I love them, they mean everything to me, I’m happy with Mark and this is my life now and I’ve accepted that, but you asked for a tip and that’s mine.’ She sighed. ‘Though, of course, you’re the man. As a tip, I suppose it’s not really directed at you.’ She looked down at Hannah, carefully smoothing her fine auburn hair. ‘Everybody says kids are what it’s all about, don’t they? But then that just means you have kids so they can have kids and then those kids can have kids too, and so on and so on ad infinitum, and you have to stop at some point and think, Hold on, shouldn’t some of it be about me, or, well, about any of the people from any of those generations? Shouldn’t we have something else apart from just being a link in this chain of procreation for the sake of it?’ She sighed again, arranged Hannah’s hair just so. ‘Not as though the human race is in any danger of dying out. And we have choice, now.’

‘No time machines, though.’

‘No, no time machines,’ she agreed. Her smile was still as beautiful as it had been.

‘Intending to pass this tip on to Hannah?’ I asked quietly.

Jolie shrugged. ‘Hope I have the courage to,’ she said. ‘Probably not the boys; they won’t take any notice of me anyway.’ Jolie smiled ruefully and lifted her child up to cuddle her again.

‘You two okay?’ said a concerned female voice, and I turned to find the stunning vision of curvaceous pulchritude that was Anjelica MacAvett, a vision in crimson at my side. A wave of her perfume rolled over me.

Jolie smiled. ‘We’re fine,’ she told Jel.

‘Can I borrow him?’ Jel asked. ‘It’s an Eightsome Reel; all hands report to the dance floor.’

‘He’s not mine to lend,’ Jolie said, hugging Hannah to her. ‘You can have him.’

‘Stop groaning,’ Jel said, using a finger to flick me on the ear. She was still wearing the long red satin gloves.

‘Not an Eightsome,’ I said, though I was already starting to get up out of my seat. ‘Do I have to?’

‘Thanks,’ Jel told Jolie, then to me, ‘Yes. Stop being such an old man. Get your ass out there.’

‘Me legs, me feet, me old war wound,’ I said in a weak, wavering voice. I was pushed hard in the small of the back, towards the dance floor.