‘Like I said before,’ he began finally, ‘it was the first thing they gave me. I was fresh to the work. They gave me Bearmatch, and I took it serious. I walked the beat, Ben, walked it like a real cop, you know?’ He laughed. ‘There ain’t an old lady in Bearmatch I didn’t help across the street.’ He laughed again, a thin, high laugh, tense and edgy. ‘Anyway, I come across this young girl one day.’ He shook his head. Her name was Memora.’ His eyes brightened somewhat. ‘They have wonderful names, the colored people. Her baby sister was named Neopoli-tana. After that ice cream, I guess, the one with strips of strawberry and chocolate and vanilla.’ He shrugged halfheartedly. ‘Anyway, I’d run across her just about every day. She’d be tending this little patch of flowers in the front yard. I’d say hello, and she’d say hello. Before long I started taking a rest in front of her house. We’d talk and talk.’ He shook his head wearily. ‘She was the most beautiful thing in the world and I …’ He stopped, and his eyes dropped hack down toward the glass. ‘And I got quite a feeling for her.’ He looked up quickly. ‘You know what I mean?’
Ben nodded.
Ryan smiled mournfully. ‘You don’t know nothing until you know a person. You may have an idea about something, ‘but until you get to know somebody, you don’t know what you feel about anything.’ Once again he fell silent, his eyes studying Ben’s face. ‘You know what I’m saying?’
‘Yes.’
Ryan scratched his chin slowly. ‘I’m not one bit ashamed of what I felt for that girl. That’s what they can’t stand down at City Hall. That’s what the Chief can’t stand. That I have never done anything since then to apologize for it or to say I was wrong. That’s why they keep me on with the department. They’re waiting for me to break down and cry over it and say what a fool I was.’ His eyes hardened. ‘I’ll die first,’ he said determinedly. ‘And they can bury me in Gracehill where they’ve made me bury so many others.’ His face grew red suddenly and a trembling swept over it. His eyes widened wildly, then closed slowly as he drew in a long, lean breath. ‘You good for another beer?’
‘Yeah,’ Ben said. He signaled the barman for another round and sat silently until he deposited them on the table.
Ryan took a long draw and wiped his mouth quickly. ‘I have a little problem with drink. Did you know that?’
‘No.’
Ryan gave him a slow, curious look. ‘You married?’
‘No.’
‘Never have been?’
Ben shook his head.
Ryan smiled. ‘Like me.’
‘I guess,’ Ben said. He took a sip from his glass. For an instant he saw his little wooden frame house, saw it empty without him, unenlivened by any presence other than his own. ‘This girl, the one you liked,’ he said finally. ‘What happened to her?’
Ryan emptied the glass. ‘She went up North,’ he said. Then he lifted the glass slightly. ‘And I guess you might say I went a little hit to this.’
For a time Ben watched as Ryan sat quietly, staring into the empty glass. His face had the kind of grief he’d seen in pictures of Jesus in the Garden, silent, inexpressibly mournful, waiting for something even worse than what had come before.
‘This other girl,’ he said at last, ‘the one we found in the old ballfield. I’m not getting very far with it.’
Ryan’s eyes lifted toward him slowly. ‘What do you have on it?’
‘A few things, nothing much,’ Ben told him. ‘What I really need is a name, some way to trace her.’ He took out the picture and brought the two sides together on the table in front of Ryan. ‘That’s her.’
Ryan stared expressionlessly at the photograph.
‘Somebody in Bearmatch must know who she is,’ Ben said insistently. ‘Somebody must know everything that goes on there.’ He looked at Ryan pointedly. ‘You know a man named Roy Jolly?’
Ryan glanced up immediately. ‘Everybody who’s ever known anything about Bearmatch knows about Roy Jolly.’
‘Where can I find him?’ Ben asked.
Ryan said nothing.
‘Help me,’ Ben said.
‘Telling you where to find Roy Jolly may not be the best way to help you.’
‘Right now it’s the only way you can.’
Ryan thought about it for a moment, then nodded slowly. ‘Over on Twenty-first Street there’s a little yellow house. It looks like all the others, except it’s yellow. That’s where you’ll find Roy Jolly.’
Ben swept the photograph back into his pocket. ‘Thanks, Kelly.’
They finished their drinks silently, then walked outside together. The orange glow of the furnaces could be seen through the rusty storm fence across the way, and above it a single enormous smokestack belched a thick tumbling smoke into the sulfuric night air.
‘Get in,’ Ben said as he stepped over to his car.
Ryan remained some distance away, standing idly in the middle of the street. ‘No, thanks,’ he said softly. ‘I’ll walk. I don’t live too far from here.’
A sudden piercing whistle shook the air around them.
‘Late shift coming in,’ Ryan said. Then he hunched his shoulders slightly, sunk his hands deep into his pockets and disappeared into the thick, humid darkness.
ELEVEN