“Even if I could do such a thing, sir—that is, pretend, sir—and since for an experienced man it would be easy enough to do, then in that case, too, I would have every right to use such a means to save my life from death; for if I’m lying sick, then even if Agrafena Alexandrovna comes to his father, he can’t ask a sick man: ‘Why didn’t you inform me?’ He’d be ashamed to.”
“What the devil!” Ivan Fyodorovich suddenly flung out, his face twisted with malice. “Why are you so afraid for your life? My brother Dmitri’s threats are all just passionate talk, nothing more. He won’t kill you; he’ll kill, but not you!”
“He’d kill me like a fly, sir, me first of all. And even more than that, I’m afraid of something else: that I’ll be considered in his accomplice when he commits some absurdity over his father.”
“Why would they consider you his accomplice?”
“They’ll consider me his accomplice because I informed him about the signals, in great secrecy, sir.”
“What signals? Who did you inform? Devil take you, speak more clearly!”
“I must confess fully,” Smerdyakov drawled with pedantic composure, “that I have a secret here with Fyodor Pavlovich. As you yourself have the honor of knowing (if you do have the honor of knowing it), for the past few days now, as soon as night comes, or just evening, he immediately locks himself in. Lately you’ve been going upstairs early, and yesterday you didn’t go anywhere at all, sir, and therefore maybe you don’t know how carefully he’s begun locking himself in for the night. And even if Grigory Vasilievich himself was to come, he’d open the door for him, sir, only if he was sure of his voice. But Grigory Vasilievich won’t come, sir, because I’m the only one who waits on him now in his room, sir—that’s how he arranged it ever since he started this to-do with Agrafena Alexandrovna, and for the night, I, too, now retire, on his directions, and go and sleep in the cottage, provided I don’t sleep before midnight, but keep watch, get up and walk around the yard, and wait for Agrafena Alexandrovna to come, sir, because he’s been waiting for her like a crazy man for the past few days. And he reasons like this, sir: she’s afraid of him, he says, of Dmitri Fyodorovich (he calls him Mitka), and therefore she will come late at night, by the back way, you watch out for her, he says, until midnight or later. And if she comes, run to the door and knock, on the door or on the garden window, first two times slowly, like this: one, two; then three times more quickly: tap-tap-tap. Then, he says, I’ll know at once that she’s there and will quietly open the door to you. The other signal he gave me in case something urgent happens: first twice quickly, tap-tap, then a pause, then one much stronger tap. Then he’ll know that something sudden has happened and I need very bad to see him, and he’ll open up and I’ll come in and report. It’s all in case Agrafena Alexandrovna might not come herself, but sends a message about something; Dmitri Fyodorovich might come, too, besides, so I should also inform him if he’s around. He’s real frightened of Dmitri Fyodorovich, so that even if Agrafena Alexandrovna has already come and he’s locked himself up with her, and meanwhile Dmitri Fyodorovich turns up somewhere around, then, in that case, it is my duty to report it to him at once without fail, by three knocks, so that the first signal of five knocks means ‘Agrafena Alexandrovna is here,’ and the second signal of three knocks means \ ‘Really have to see you’— that’s how he himself taught me and explained them each several times, with examples. And since in the whole universe only he and I, sir, know about these signals, he’ll come doubtless and not calling out any names (he’s afraid of calling out loud) and open the door. And these same signals have now become known to Dmitri Fyodorovich.”
“Become known? You told him? How dared you?”
“It’s this same fear, sir. And how could I dare hold it back from him, sir? Dmitri Fyodorovich kept pressing me every day: ‘You’re deceiving me, what are you hiding from me? I’ll break both your legs!’ That’s when I informed him about these same secret signals, so that at least he could see my servility and be satisfied that I’m not deceiving him and report to him in every way.”
“If you think he’ll use these signals to try and get in, you mustn’t let him in.”
“But if I was to be laid up with a fit, sir, then how could I stop him from coming in, even if I dared to stop him, sir, seeing how desperate he is?”
“How the devil can you be so sure you’ll have a fit, devil take you! Are you laughing at me?”
“Would I dare laugh at you, sir, and do you think I feel up to laughing with all this fear? I anticipate that a falling fit will come on me, I have this anticipation, it will come from fear alone, sir.”
“What the devil! If you’re laid up then Grigory will keep watch! Warn Grigory beforehand, he certainly won’t let him in.”
