“Right, right!” Alyosha ardently agreed, “so it seems to me now.” “And if so, then he hasn’t perished yet! He’s just in despair, but I can still save him. Wait: did he tell you anything about money, about three thousand roubles?”
“He not only told me, but that is perhaps what was killing him most of all. He said he was now deprived of his honor and nothing mattered anymore,” Alyosha ardently replied, feeling with his whole heart that hope was flowing into his heart, and that, indeed, there might be a way out, there might be salvation for his brother. “But do you ... know about this money?” he added, and suddenly stopped short.
“I’ve known for a long time, and for certain. I inquired by telegraph in Moscow and have long known that the money was never received. He never sent the money, but I said nothing. Last week I learned how much he needed and still needs money ... I set myself only one goal in all of this: that he should know who to turn back to, and who is his most faithful friend. No, he does not want to believe that I am his most faithful friend, he has never wanted to know me, he looks on me only as a woman. All week one terrible care has tormented me: how to make it so that he will not be ashamed before me because he spent those three thousand roubles. I mean, let him be ashamed before everyone and before himself, but let him not be ashamed before me. To God he says everything without being ashamed. Why, then, does he still not know how much I can endure for him? Why, why does he not know me, how dare he not know me after all that has happened? I want to save him forever. Let him forget that I am his fiancée! And now he’s afraid before me because of his honor! He wasn’t afraid to open himself to you, Alexei Fyodorovich. Why haven’t I yet deserved the same?”
The last words she spoke in tears; tears gushed from her eyes.
“I must tell you,” said Alyosha, also in a trembling voice, “of what took place just now between him and father.” And he described the whole scene, described how he had been sent to get money, how Mitya had burst in, beaten their father, and after that specifically and insistently confirmed that he, Alyosha, should go and “bow” ... “He went to that woman ... ,” Alyosha added softly.
“And do you think that I cannot endure that woman? He thinks that I will not endure her? But he won’t marry her,” she suddenly gave a nervous laugh. “Can a Karamazov eternally burn with such a passion? It’s passion, not love. He won’t marry her, because she won’t marry him ... ,” again Katerina Ivanovna suddenly laughed strangely.
“He may well marry her,” Alyosha said sadly, lowering his eyes.
“He won’t marry her, I tell you! That girl—she’s an angel, do you know that? Do you know it?” Katerina Ivanovna suddenly exclaimed with remarkable fervor. “The most fantastic of all fantastic beings! I know how bewitching she is, but I also know how kind, firm, noble she is. Why are you looking at me that way, Alexei Fyodorovich? Perhaps you’re surprised at my words, perhaps you don’t believe me? Agrafena Alexandrovna, my angel!” she suddenly called out to someone, looking into the other room, “come and join us! This is a dear man, this is Alyosha, he knows all about our affairs. Show yourself to him!”
“I’ve only been waiting behind the curtain for you to call me,” said a tender, even somewhat sugary woman’s voice.
