The Bullet That Missed полностью

Ibrahim will be patient before he starts asking about the murder, because he knows that Joyce is excited to meet Mike, and she has lots of other questions for him first. She has written them down in a notebook, which is in her handbag, in case she forgets any of them.

Now that Mike has a glass of unidentified red in front of him, Joyce clearly feels able to begin. ‘When you read the news, Mike, is it all written down, or are you allowed to put it in your own words?’

‘That’s an excellent question,’ says Mike. ‘Perceptive, gets right to the heart of things. It is all written down, but I don’t always stick to the script.’

‘You’ve earned that right over the years,’ says Joyce, and Mike agrees.

‘Gets me into trouble from time to time though,’ says Mike. ‘They made me go on an impartiality course in Thanet.’

‘Good for you,’ says Elizabeth.

Ibrahim sees Joyce take a sneaky peek at the notebook in her handbag.

‘Do you ever wear any special clothes when you read the news?’ asks Joyce. ‘Special socks or anything?’

‘No,’ says Mike. Joyce nods, a little disappointed, then takes another look at her book.

‘What happens if you need the loo during a show?’

‘For heaven’s sake, Joyce,’ says Elizabeth.

‘I go before the show starts,’ says Mike.

Fun though this is, Ibrahim wonders if it isn’t time to kick off this evening’s proceedings himself. ‘So, Mike, we have a –’

Joyce places a hand on his arm. ‘Ibrahim, forgive me, just a couple more things. What is Amber like?’

‘Who’s Amber?’ says Ron.

‘Mike’s co-host,’ says Joyce. ‘Honestly, Ron, you’re embarrassing yourself.’

‘I do that,’ says Ron. He says this directly to Pauline, who, in Ibrahim’s opinion, had very deliberately sat next to Ron at the start of dinner. Ibrahim usually sits next to Ron. No matter.

‘She’s only been there three years, but I am already starting to like her,’ says Joyce.

‘She’s terrific,’ says Mike. ‘Goes to the gym a lot, but terrific.’

‘She has lovely hair too,’ says Joyce.

‘Joyce, you should judge news presenters on their journalism,’ says Mike. ‘And not their appearance. Female presenters, particularly, have to put up with that a lot.’

Joyce nods, knocks back half a glass of white, then nods again. ‘I do take your point, Mike. I just think that you can be very talented and have lovely hair. Perhaps I’m shallow, but both of those things are important to me. Claudia Winkleman is a good example. You also have lovely hair.’

‘I’ll have the steak please,’ says Mike to the waiter now taking their orders. ‘Rare-to-medium rare, err on the side of rare. Though if you err on the side of medium, I’ll live.’

‘I had read you were a Buddhist, Mike?’ Ibrahim spent the morning researching their guest.

‘I am,’ says Mike. ‘Thirty-odd years.’

‘Ah,’ says Ibrahim. ‘I had been under the impression that Buddhists were vegetarian? I was almost sure.’

‘I’m Church of England too,’ says Mike. ‘So I pick and choose. That’s the point of being a Buddhist.’

‘I stand corrected,’ says Ibrahim.

Mike has started on his second glass of red, and seems ready to hold court. This is perfect.

‘Tell me about this Thursday Murder Club, then,’ he says.

‘It’s fairly hush-hush,’ says Ibrahim. ‘But we meet up, once a week, the four of us, to look over old police files. See if we can solve anything they were unable to.’

‘Sounds like a fun hobby,’ says Mike. ‘Looking into old murders. Keeps you busy I bet? The old grey cells ticking over? Ron, should we get another bottle of this red?’

‘It’s mainly been new murders recently,’ says Elizabeth, laying the bait still further.

Mike laughs. He clearly doesn’t think Elizabeth is being serious. Which is probably for the best. Don’t want to frighten him off just yet.

‘Sounds like you don’t mind a bit of trouble here and there,’ says Mike.

‘I’ve always been a magnet for trouble,’ says Ron.

Pauline tops up Ron’s glass. ‘Well, watch yourself, Ron, because I’ve always been trouble.’

Ibrahim sees Joyce give a tiny, secret smile at this. Ibrahim decides that, before they try to move the conversation, gently and slowly, on to Bethany Waites, he has a question of his own. He turns to Pauline.

‘Are you married, Pauline?’ he asks.

‘Widow,’ says Pauline.

‘Ooh, snap!’ says Joyce. Ibrahim notes that this evening’s combination of wine and celebrity is making her quite the giddy goat.

‘How long have you been on your own?’ asks Elizabeth.

‘Six months,’ says Pauline.

‘Six months? That’s no time at all,’ says Joyce, placing her hand on Pauline’s. ‘I was still putting an extra slice in the toaster at six months.’

Was it time? Here goes, thinks Ibrahim. Time to make small, subtle shifts in the conversation so they can start talking about Bethany Waites. A delicate dance, with Ibrahim as master choreographer. He has his first move all planned. ‘So, Mike. I wonder if you –’

‘I’ll tell you this for nothing,’ says Mike, ignoring Ibrahim, wine glass circling the air. ‘If you want a murder to solve, I’ve got a name for you.’

‘Go on?’ says Joyce.

‘Bethany Waites,’ says Mike.