Qwilleran chose a dark blue outfit with an emblem on the sleeve and a cap that looked official if not examined too closely. When he tried it on and appeared in the fitting room, the two women screamed at the sight; the trousers too short, the sleeves too long, the cap three sizes too large.
“Do you have a Neanderthal in the club” he asked.
Alice said, “I can fix the pantlegs and sleeves in a jiffy. The cap will he okay if we stuff the crown with tissue paper.”
In the makeup room Carol went to work with professional assurance, darkening the pepper-and-salt mustache, eyebrows, and patches of gray at his temples.
“Did Delacamp arrive on schedule?” he asked.
“Yes. He brought his niece this time – a quiet girl. She defers to him all the time. He’s put on some weight, but he’s quite handsome for a man of his age. I think he’s had cosmetic surgery. And his toupee is new. A very expensive one… Oops! Did I bump you in the eyeball? I’m sorry.”
“That’s all right. I have another one.”
“At the country club dinner he showed his slides of fabulous jewels in museums. There was a necklace that Napoleon gave Josephine, and it must have weighed a pound; all rubies, emeralds, enamel work, and precious metals…. Do you realize that rubies and emeralds were replaced by diamonds in nineteenth-century fashion for the simple reason that the lighting in public places was improving? Dazzle became more important than color…. There!” Carol whipped off the cape covering his shoulders. “Now for the logistics; I’ll drive you to the inn. Barry Morghan will meet you at the entrance and whisk you upstairs on the elevator. At three o’clock he’ll escort you to the ballroom. As soon as it’s over, return to his office. He’ll phone the store, and Larry will drive you back here.”
Qwilleran said, “Carol, you’re so well organized, it’s unnerving.”
“Well, it helps if you’ve run a department store for twenty-five years… and directed two dozen stage productions… and raised three kids.”
As Qwilleran knew, their elder son was a clergyman in New York State; their daughter was an M.D. in Pickax; the younger son had been a tragic failure. No one ever mentioned him. “How does Dr. Diane feel about pouring tea this afternoon” Qwilleran asked.
“She says she hasn’t been so nervous since she lanced her first boil! She and Polly will pour for forty-five minutes and then be relieved by Susan Exbridge and Maggie Spenkle. It’s Maggie’s Belgian lace banquet cloth that we’re using, and Susan is lending two silver tea services and a six-branch silver candelabrum.”
Then the uniform was ready. Qwilleran assembled his disguise and looked in the mirror.
“Well?” Carol asked.
“Well?” Alice repeated.
He hesitated, “I don’t know who this guy is, but he’s not me!”
The women applauded.
As Carol drove him to the inn, Qwilleran asked, “Do you know a perfume called L’Heure Bleue?”
“Of course! It’s a classic. A delicate flowery fragrance with a hint of vanilla. Jacque Guerlain created it for Yvonne Printemps in 1912. As a matter of fact, Larry gave me a bottle of L’Heure Bleue when we were honeymooning in Paris umpteen years ago.”
“Could you special-order it? I’d like to surprise Polly.”
“Be glad to. I think she’d like the eau de toilette in the spray bottle…. And by the way, are you and she free on Thursday evening? We’re giving a small at-home dinner for Mr. Delacamp and his niece. For you, Qwill, it would be your only opportunity to meet him…. But I warn you, he’s a non-stop talker.”
“That’s okay, as long as I learn something.”
“You will, believe me! He’s an encyclopedia of facts about several subjects.”
They could see Barry Morghan standing at the carriage entrance of the inn.
“Okay,” said Qwilleran. “I’ve taken my adjustment. I’m Joe Buzzard, ex-cop. I hire out for security gigs. Everyone’s a potential jewel thief.”
He stomped out of the Lanspeak van and swaggered up to the entrance in a surly manner, pretending not to see Barry.
With a straight face the innkeeper asked, “Are you from City Security Services.”
“Yes, Sir!”
“Follow me.”
As soon as they were in the office with the door closed. Barry said, “You look great, Qwill! No one will recognize you. How about some coffee while we’re waiting for three o’clock? Can you drink without the dye running down your chin?”
“I’d feel safer with a straw…. How did you enjoy the barbecue?”
“I had a great time! Lots of nice people. They’re not uptight like city dudes.”
“They’re friendly, no doubt about it, but they’re also nosy and prone to spread rumors, so be on your guard.”
