Firestar made his way toward the leader’s den. He still couldn’t think of it as his own, and he found himself missing his comfy patch of moss in the warriors’ den even more sharply. Before he reached it, he heard his name being called and turned to see Graystripe hurrying after him.
“Firestar, I wanted to tell you—” He broke off as if he were embarrassed.
“What’s the problem?”
“Well…” Graystripe hesitated and then went on in a rush: “I don’t know if you were thinking of choosing me to be your deputy, but I wanted to say that you don’t have to. I know I haven’t been back in the Clan long enough, and some cats still don’t trust me. I won’t be hurt if you pick another cat.”
Firestar felt a pang of regret. He would have chosen Graystripe above all other cats to hunt and fight by his side, and to give him the special support that a deputy gave the Clan leader. But it was true that he could not choose Graystripe so soon after his friend’s return from RiverClan. Though Firestar himself had no doubt of his friend’s loyalty to ThunderClan, Graystripe still had to prove himself before the rest of the Clan would accept him.
Leaning forward, Firestar touched noses with his friend. “Thank you, Graystripe,” he mewed. “I’m glad you understand.”
Graystripe shrugged, more embarrassed than ever. “I just wanted to say.” He turned and vanished through the branches of the warrior’s den.
Firestar felt choked with emotion and shook himself briskly. Padding around the Highrock to the den entrance, he heard movement inside. Thornpaw, the oldest apprentice, whirled around as Firestar went in.
“Oh Firestar!” he exclaimed. “Whitestorm told me to fetch you some new bedding—and some fresh-kill.” He flicked his tail to the far side of the den, where a rabbit lay beside a thick pile of moss and heather.
“That looks great, Thornpaw,” Firestar meowed. “Thank you—and thank Whitestorm for me.”
The ginger apprentice dipped his head and started to leave, only to halt as Firestar called him back.
“Remind Mousefur to have a word with me tomorrow,” Firestar mewed, naming Thornpaw’s mentor. “It’s about time we started thinking about your warrior ceremony.”
Thornpaw’s eyes lit up with excitement. “Yes, Firestar! Thanks!” he meowed, and dashed off.
Firestar settled himself in the mossy nest and took a few mouthfuls of the rabbit. It had been thoughtful of Whitestorm to have the bedding changed, though Firestar still felt that Bluestar’s scent lingered in the very walls of the den. Perhaps it always would, and that was no bad thing. There was pain in his memories of her, but comfort too, w h en he thought of her wisdom and her courage in leading her Clan.
Shadows gathered around him as the last of the light died. Firestar was acutely conscious of being completely alone for the first time since joining the Clan: no warmth of other cats sleeping close by, no soft meows and purrs as his friends shared tongues, no gentle snoring or the sound of cats shifting in their dreams. For a few heartbeats he felt lonelier than ever.
Then he told himself to stop being so mouse-brained. He had an important decision to make, and it was vital for ThunderClan that he get it right. His choice of deputy would affect the life of the Clan for seasons to come.
Settling deeper into the moss, he wondered whether he ought to sleep now, and ask Spottedleaf in a dream which cat would be the right deputy. He closed his eyes and almost at once he caught a trace of Spottedleaf’s sweet scent. But no vision came; he could see only darkness.
Then he heard a whisper in his ear, filled with Spottedleaf’s gentle teasing. “Oh, no, Firestar. This is
Sighing, Firestar opened his eyes again. “All right, Spottedleaf,” he mewed aloud. “I’ll decide.”
The deputy could not be Graystripe, that was clear, and Firestar was grateful to his friend for making that part of his choice easy for him. He let his mind drift over the other possible cats. The new deputy would have to be experienced, and a d never been questioned. Sandstorm was brave and intelligent, and choosing her would reassure her more than anything else that Firestar still valued her and wanted her at his side.
