'I'm fine.' Dave said. 'You wouldn't happen to have something I could give him, would you? I've tried Kwells and other shit like that, but they don't seem to help.'
Jock finished his beer and pulled a face.
'That stuffs for kids,' he said. 'What other shit have you tried?'
'Antihistamine. Didn't work either. Just made him sleep for a bit.'
'When was his last dose of that?'
'Hours ago.'
'Well, if it's me, I take hyoscine. Blocks the para-sympathetic autonomic nervous system. Stuffs commonly used as a preanesthetic to prevent reflex vagal stimulation of the heart.'
'There's nothing sympathetic about Al's nervous system,' said Dave. 'I'm not even sure he's got a heart.' He lit a cigarette. 'What are you, some kind of doctor as well?'
'On this ship, aye. My father was a veterinary surgeon. I learned a lot from him.' He shrugged. 'Bastards on this ship are all animals anyway, so it makes no bloody difference.' He took one of the cigarettes Dave had offered him, and lit it quickly. 'Does your pal suffer from glaucoma, at all?'
Dave had no idea, but he shook his head anyway, sensing that Jock was about to prescribe something useful. The hyoscine perhaps.
'Aye, well I've got some Scopoderm. It's good stuff. Not available over the counter.' He pinched the cigarette from the corner of his mouth and inhaled through clenched teeth. 'Expensive, though. If you know what I mean.'
Dave thought he did and grinned back at him. 'I think so.'
Jock looked apologetic. 'You're the one with the flash boat, not me. I'm just trying to make ends meet.'
'How much?'
'Fifty bucks. Enough to see you through the bad weather.'
'Done.'
Jock took a small packet from his pocket.
'You had it with you?'
'Quite a few people are feeling like shit today,' laughed Jock. 'Business is good.'
'That's a nice little racket,' said Dave, handing over the five Hamiltons.
'You make it any way you can.'
'Sure do,' agreed Dave.
'These are tablets and plasters,' Jock explained, giving Dave the packet. 'Give him one tablet now and stick a plaster to his arm. He'll have difficulty in passing water. Maybe blur his vision a bit. And it'll stop him sweating altogether.'
'I can't wait,' said Dave. 'How soon does this shit kick in?'
'Right away. An hour should see him on his feet again. Then one of the plasters and one of the pills every six hours. Just don't mix the stuff with any alcohol.'
'Right.'
'Thanks for the beer.'
'Pleasure doing business with you, Doc'
Jock walked precipitously toward the stern.
'Oh yeah. I meant to tell you. That sub. I reckon it's gone. No one's been broadcasting in a while and there's nothing on the echo-sounder. Must have got bored, and pissed off.'
'Must have done,' agreed Dave.
'It's that kind of voyage,' said Jock. 'I can't think why I ever imagined going to sea would be more interesting than becoming a vet. Nothing ever bloody well happens on this boat.'
'No, I guess not.'
Al was lying on the floor, one arm wrapped around the toilet bowl as if it was his best friend. Dave knelt down, wrapped one of Al's anaconda-sized arms around his own neck, and dragged him into the stateroom.
'One thing I like about you, Al. You know your proper station in life. It's been a pleasure sailing with you, you know? A guy out of the can, like me? It's been a great comfort to have been around someone lower than myself.'
'Fuck you,' groaned Al.
Dave dropped him onto the bed and finding a towel he began to dry Al's arms carefully.
'The doc was just by to give you something,' said Dave. 'To be completely honest with you, he's really a vet. But I knew you wouldn't hold that against him, you being a fuckin' gorilla n'all.'
Dave unwrapped the supply of Scopoderm and taped a plaster to the inside of each chunky forearm.
'Normally the guy only treats domestic animals but I persuaded him to make an exception in your case. I told him to pretend you were a domestic ass and y'know something? He didn't seem to have any problem with that.'
Dave placed one of Jock's tablets on Al's lolling, beige sock of a tongue, and then closed his jaw before reaching for the glass of water on the bedside table. The glass was in his hand and then almost on the floor as he realized with disgust that the water covered a set of dental plates.
'Jesus, what the fuck is this?' Dave laughed and then lifted Al's slack lip on the edge of his finger. Grinning, his own teeth shining perfectly, Dave peered into Al's pukey mouth. He said, 'Man, there's not one tooth in the whole fucking bowling ball.' Dave kept on looking, fascinated and feeling like the bitch in King Lear come to gloat over some old guy's empty eye sockets. Until Al's big hairy paw swept Dave's hand away.
'Fuck you.'
'OK, you gotta sit up now and swallow this bitter little pill, Al. Make you feel better. It's a seasickness pill, so be a good fellow and just swallow the goddamn thing. Stuff cost me fifty bucks.'
Al sat up, swallowed the pill and, taking the glass out of Dave's hand, drained it of the water covering his dentures.
