I gave my orders to Master Tudor, who received them without expression. My small entourage was under way the following day, with my Master of Household and a handful of soldiers providing a stiff-backed and silent escort. Ensconced at Leeds with only Guille to serve my needs I wrapped my solitude around me. Every morning I climbed to the battlement walk and looked north towards London, my heart bright with hope. I was quite as capable of throwing down a challenge as my lover. We would see how strong his love was for me.
‘You left me!’ I accused as he strode with purpose into the entrance hall. I knew the role I would play. I had not had too long to wait—less than a se’ennight, in fact—for Edmund followed, gratifyingly quickly, but it pleased me to be less than conciliatory. It pleased me to see his steps hesitate momentarily as I addressed him with what might have been interpreted as temper. ‘You walked away from me and made me the subject of common gossip,’ I added, in case he did not realise the effect of his rapid departure.
‘You were cruel. You refused my invitation. You rejected my love,’ Edmund responded through gritted teeth. He was hot and sweaty from a fast ride, eyes fierce, russet hair mussed as he pulled off his hood. He was entirely appealing.
‘I could not take the step you asked of me.’ I was adamant.
‘Do you not love me enough? You are happy enough to enjoy my kisses. Is there a limit to your love, my lady?’
Oh, his words were accusatory.
‘There is no limit,’ I responded. ‘You know that I love you, but I no longer know if you love me. I think to reject me so openly was cruel.’
I was astonished at how cool and confident my voice sounded. I knew that I was in the right in my refusal. The thought of Gloucester passing judgement on my moral state still horrified me, so I met Edmund’s furious stare with a steady regard.
‘You are very cold,’ he observed.
‘I am hurt.’
He held out his hand in demand. I thrust my hands behind my back.
And, taking me aback, instead of the frustration or even anger I had expected, his face was illuminated with a smile that made my blood sing. ‘Are you sending me away?’ he asked.
‘Yes.’ But my heart quaked.
‘Do you expect me to make an apology?’ he demanded.
I suspected that he did not know the meaning of the word. ‘Do you think you should?’ I deliberately allowed a little edge to colour my tone. ‘How could you inflict such hurt on me, Edmund? And so thoughtlessly, if you see no need to ask pardon.’
‘Love is not love without hurt.’
‘I don’t believe you.’
Edmund swooped, and captured one of my hands, since I allowed it, falling smoothly into the verse:
‘What does that mean?’ I asked, lifting my chin, as if I were in no mood for such complex sentiments. In fact, they thrilled me, but I held firm in my resolve.
‘It means that love must have pain to make the joy more intense.’ Edmund pressed my fingers against his mouth. ‘Come to my bed, my golden one.’
‘I will not.’
‘Must I go away again?’
I lifted a negligent shoulder. ‘I will not be browbeaten, my lord.’
‘I beg of you, my glorious Queen Kat. Have mercy.’
I shook my head. Neither would I be cajoled, though I could not contemplate the thought of never seeing him again, not touching him, not savouring his mouth on mine. But I knew he would not leave me again.
‘Speak to me.’ Edmund pressed his lips to the soft skin of my wrist where my blood beat heavily. ‘Come to my bed, my obstinate love. Who’s to know here?’
‘I will not.’
‘I don’t provoke you.’
‘But you do. Your refusal provokes me to madness.
Edmund, still clasping my hand, in all his travel-stained boots and hose, sank to one knee, head bent.
‘Don’t ask me again,’ I urged, trying to step away. ‘For I will not.’ And yet I felt that the mood in him had changed, the flirtation a thing of the past. Slowly his gaze lifted to mine.
‘Katherine.’
There was no mockery in his use of my name, neither was there any residue of light in his eyes. I had never seen him so serious. Had he indeed given up on me? Perhaps he would ask forgiveness for his presumption and explain that he had been mistaken after all, that his regard for me had proved to be a finite thing. My hand tensed in his but I regarded him steadily to cover the flutter of nerves in my belly.
‘Will you wed me, Katherine?’
It took my breath. ‘Marriage?’
‘Why not? We love each other. There is no one I would rather wed.’ His brows flattened. ‘Unless you have another man in mind?’
