The Forbidden Queen полностью

‘You are tense tonight, my lady,’ Guille observed as she removed my girdle and untied the laces of my houppelande.

‘Yes.’ I laughed softly. ‘Weary, I think. My son is not a natural dancer.’

The thick damask slid to the floor and I stepped out of it, lifting my arms so that Guille could attack the side lacing of my under-tunic.

‘You dance well, my lady,’ she said, head bent over her task.

I would like to dance with Owen Tudor. The thought slid into my mind, followed fast by another. He can never be for you. You will never dance together.

I considered this. He is a man who, for some reason I cannot define, speaks to my heart.

I did not like the reply, which came in a style of forthright Alice. You cannot wed such a man.

Who speaks of marriage?

You would take your Master of Household as your lover? The denunciation rubbed my emotions raw.

How should I? He has no feelings for me.

So why bother thinking about him at all? He has touched your hand once…

And my waist! I added.

And dropped you like a hot pan. You are a fool, Katherine.

I scowled at the invisible Alice. So I was. I glanced down at Guille.

And don’t even think about asking Guille what she thinks about the whole miserable affair. Unless you want your household marvelling at the antics of their queen, you will not say a single word.

I will if I wish.

I looked back over my shoulder to where Guille was still struggling with a knotted lace, huffing at her inability to loosen it. Her head was bent, her attention focused.

‘Guille, in your opinion, would it be very wrong of a woman of rank to…?’ This was more than difficult. ‘To wish to speak alone with a servant?’

Guille looked up, brows as knotted as the lace, then lowered her regard to her task again.

‘I’d say it depends, my lady.’

‘On what does it depend?’

‘On what this lady of rank wishes to say to her servant. And to which servant she wishes to say it. If it was to give instructions for a banquet or a journey…’

‘And if it was more of a personal matter?’ It was like wading through thick pottage, choosing the least guilt-ridden words. ‘Would it ever be right?’

‘No, my lady. I don’t think it would.’

‘So it would be wrong.’

There! I told you it would be.

‘It might give rise to gossip, my lady.’

‘Yes.’ I sighed. ‘It would be foolhardy in the extreme.’

‘But still you wish to meet with Master Tudor?’

She stood, the knot untied, her question leaving me directionless. Had I been so obvious, when I had tried so hard to preserve at least a modicum of dignity?

‘Does everyone talk of it?’ I whispered.

‘No, my lady. But I know you well, and I see what you would wish to remain hidden.’

‘It is true,’ I admitted. I would dance around it no more. ‘I join the ranks of many. How foolish women can be!’ I plunged the dagger further into my flesh, into my heart. ‘Does he have a special woman, Guille?’

‘Not one, my lady.’ Guille’s mouth pursed but her eyes twinkled.

I laughed, picking up her implication. ‘So many.’

‘As many as he smiles on. He has great charm.’

But he did not use it with me. I was his royal mistress, he was my minion. ‘So you like him too?’ I asked.

‘I would not refuse if he invited me to share his kisses,’ Guille said, not at all abashed. ‘It must be the Welshness in him.’

‘So it must.’

‘Your rank stands in the way of such knowledge, my lady.’

‘I know it does.’

But I could not leave it alone.

Oh, the excuses I made to hold conversation with him—for I could not be direct. I was never a bold woman. How appalled I was at my subterfuge when I found myself drawn to him, like a rabbit to the cunning eyes of the hunting stoat. Yet Owen Tudor was no predator. My desire was of my own creation.

‘Master Tudor—I wish to ride out with my son the King. Perhaps you would accompany us?’

‘I will arrange for the horses, my lady. An armed escort would be better,’ he replied promptly, my judgement obviously found wanting in his eye. ‘I will arrange that too.’

And he did, being there in the courtyard to see that all was as it should be. But when I needed a helping hand into the saddle—what woman did not, hampered with yards of heavy damask and fur?—he kept his distance, instructing one of the young grooms to come to my aid. When we returned, there was Master Tudor awaiting us, but the same groom helped me to dismount.

How to provoke a reaction—any reaction—from an unresponsive man?