The Frumious Bandersnatch полностью

“That son of a bitch slapped her!” he shouted into Carella’s face. He smelled of seared mustard salmon, which was the entrée he’d had for dinner. He also smelled of a men’s cologne named “Acrid” which a lot of men in the music industry favored because it had the silhouette of a Luger pistol on its label. “She’s a fragile person,” Loomis shouted, “a child practically! This is a child kidnapping, she’s a child, she just celebrated her twentieth birthday in January! I want her back here! That man was a maniac, you could see he was deranged, first he hit Jonah with the gun…”

“I think I’m still bleeding,” Jonah said.

He had taken off the monster mask, and it was plain to see he wasn’t still bleeding, but he kept exploring his jaw line tentatively, his eyes still wide in fright. Carella hoped he wasn’t going to faint.

“You’re not bleeding,” Loomis told him. “Go put on some clothes, go get dressed for Chrissake! How many kidnappings have you investigated this year?” he asked Carella.

“None,” Carella said. “This year? None.”

“How about last year? How about the past five, ten years? How many friggin kidnappings have you ever handled in your entire life as a cop?”

“One,” Carella answered. “In my entire life as a cop,” he added.

Loomis blinked at him.

“Well, at least you’re honest,” he said.

“At least that,” Carella agreed. “But you don’t have to worry. I’m sure the FBI will…”

“Whoever,” Loomis said. “All I want is Tamar back. And fast!”

“All I want,” a woman’s voice said, “is to get my tape on the air. And fast!”

They all turned.

Carella recognized the woman at once. He had met her in the Grover Park Zoo this past Christmas when she was covering the “Lions Attack Woman” story. He had spoken to her on the phone only recently, soliciting a possible job at Channel Four for his wife, Teddy.

“Hello, Honey,” he said and extended his hand. “Nice to see you again.”

“I taped the whole thing, you know,” she said. “In case anyone’s interested.”

“Interested?” Carella said. “When can we…?”

“Back off,” Honey said. “Nobody sees it till Channel Four airs it.”

“Good!” Loomis said at once. “Let the whole damn city see what happened here tonight. Let the whole world see it! That maniac hitting her!”

“No one’s broadcasting any evidence tape until I clear it with my superiors,” Carella said.

“Evidence tape? What?”

“I’ll subpoena it, Honey.”

“Ashcroft notwithstanding, I thought this was still a free country.”

“A girl’s been kidnapped here, Miss,” Hawes told her.

She turned to look at him.

“This is my partner, Cotton Hawes,” Carella said. “Cotton, this is Honey Blair of Channel Four News.”

“I watch you all the time,” Hawes said, and nodded.

Honey looked him over. She was seeing a tall, wide-shouldered man with blue eyes and flaming red hair except for a white streak some two inches wide over his left temple.

Hawes was seeing a blonde some five-feet-seven-inches tall, wearing a blue leather mini and an ice-blue, long-sleeved blouse and calf-high navy leather boots and looking infinitely more beautiful than she ever had on television.

Honey Blair and Cotton Hawes had met.

“Red, tell your partner here…” Honey started.

“It’s Cotton,” he said softly, and looked into her eyes.

“Cotton, please tell your partner,” she said, returning his gaze, “that I’m sitting on the biggest scoop I’ve ever had in my life, a live tape of a kidnapping in progress, and if he doesn’t let me go in the next five minutes, Channel Four will bring suit against the city,” she said, and smiled sweetly.

“We’ll slap a court order on the tape,” Carella said.

“I don’t care what you do after we air it.”

“I’ll seize it as evidence right this minute.”

“My crew won’t let you have it.”

“Then I’ll arrest them as accessories to the crime of kidnapping.”

“As what? You’ll what?”

“For withholding vital evidence,” Hawes explained.

Honey gave him a curt, dismissive look.

“Am I still bleeding?” Jonah asked.

“Will you go put on some clothes?” Loomis said.

“How’d I look on camera?” Jonah asked Honey.

“Gorgeous, darling.”

Jonah beamed and went off toward the changing room. The natives were beginning to get extremely restless, milling and seething and whiffling all around the ballroom deck as McIntosh and his crew continued taking names, addresses, and telephone numbers.

“So who will be handling this?” Loomis asked Carella. “You or the FBI?”

“For now, it’s us,” Carella said. “We caught it, we’ll finish up here, and then go do the paperwork. I’ll talk to my lieutenant as soon as we get back to the squadroom, see what he advises. I’m sure this’ll go to them, don’t worry. Meanwhile, we’ll want to contact the girl’s parents. Do you know where we can…?”

“Forget it,” Loomis said, “they’re divorced. Her father’s living in Mexico with his second wife, her mother’s in Europe someplace.”

“Are they people of means, would you know?”

“He used to sell vacuum cleaners, Christ knows what he’s doing now. Her mother’s a hairdresser. I’m sure neither of them is wealthy.”

“Then why would anyone want to kidnap her?” Hawes asked.