He rotated on the seat to look fully at her, pinning her like one of his patients strapped to the operating table under the bright light of inspection.
“Why is it so important to you that I strike this balance?”
“Because there is much good to be done without the seal of approval from a medical board. There are so many people right here in need of help, some of the same people that stuffy medical board refuses to lift a finger for because they are deemed untreatable or lacking in funds.” She bristled at the memory of those families waiting in Glasgow Hospital and the Douglas family scraping to get by. “We have the responsibility to ease the suffering of those around us. Perhaps not in a fine city hospital, or with the blessing of your colleagues, or even for accolades, but that does not mean the endeavor is any less worthwhile.”
“That’s one of the things I fancy most about you. Cut to the heart of the matter.” He half smiled, then looked down at his hands. “Do you think I’ve allowed my ego to overshadow what good I’m supposed to be doing as a physician?”
“I think if you are not careful, pride may overcome what is right by your patients.”
“If it hasn’t already. Being a physician was all that mattered to me, and now . . .” He spread his hands in an aimless gesture. “I never wanted this mantle of duke, you know.”
“But it is yours to bear now. All you must decide is if you will smother yourself in it or use its generous folds to help others. A privilege, I believe, that also exists in the hands of a physician.”
“You seem to have given this a great deal of thought. More than me, I’m ashamed to admit.”
She studied the pattern of lines and checks on the blanket. They started smooth and unbroken until bisecting with opposing lines to weave a new pattern. Much as the threads of her life. They’d woven a silken path until revolution knotted her to a different line twisted with war. Another pattern. And then there was Wynn, striking bold and straight to tie up the loosened threads into an unexpected weft. She traced the thick blue line that drew the eye beyond all other drab colors.
“You have given me so much with no payment asked—”
“You’re my wife. No payment is required.”
“I wasn’t always your wife. Now that I am, my gratitude can better be expressed in ways of supporting you.”
“And I wish you would stop thinking of our marriage as a series of transactions and payments.”
“A difficult request considering it’s all I know of marital matters. That, and I am to smile and oblige you in all situations.”
His hand stole over hers, his fingers twining between hers. “Let me guess, your mother told you that as part of the perfect princess training.”
“All mothers tell their daughters this. It makes for a smoother running household.”
“Since when has anything between us run smoothly? You’ve never withheld your opinion from me before. I don’t want you starting now.”
He was rotating her wedding band, and her thoughts were spinning right along with it. They blurred faster and faster until her carefully attached reservations cast off and the guarded questions to which she only ever surrendered in the loneliness of silence rushed out.
“Then what do you want from this marriage?”
If her bluntness surprised him, he didn’t show it. Nor did he take long to consider it.
“A chance to move forward. With you.” His eyes darkened, like the glowing heart of an emerald under moonlight. Mesmerizing and tempered on the cusp of passion. “What do you want, Lana?”
She took a shaky breath that mimicked the tripping of her heart. Surprisingly, she didn’t need long to consider her own answer as the words came from her heart without complication.
“I think I would like that too. My whole life has been rooted by obligation and expectation, yet I tire of the stillness. I wish to see what exists beyond the borders. With you.”
The back of his fingertips traced her face, blazing a path from her cheek, along her jaw, to her chin and curving around the other side. With each pass he closed the distance between them, leaving mere inches between his lips and her need to claim them.
“After meeting you, it’s a good thing I specialize in heart troubles. I feel I’m about to lose mine.”
In that instant the strength of his emotions overwhelmed her, plunging her to heady yearning. She gathered her courage to receive them as the tide swept her away to deeper currents from which he beckoned. He was not for the faint of heart. She’d never fainted a day in her life, but she felt light-headed.
She tilted her head as his warm breath fanned her face. His green eyes dissolved to desire, taking her right along with him. Finally, she would know what it was like to kiss her husband.