For the second time that evening Prunesquallor blushed. He had never seen anything so openly, ridiculously, predatory in his life. Heaven knew she would say the wrong thing at the wrong time, but above all she must not be allowed to expose her intention in that palpable way.
But what he said was Aha! H’m. What a flair you have. Irma! What a consummate flair. Who else would have thought of it?’
‘O Alfred, I knew you’d love it …’ she swivelled her eyes again, but her attempt at roguery was heart-breaking.
‘Now what
‘What
‘You would be most unhappy if I told you, my dear. It affects you deeply.’
‘Affects me! How do you mean?’
‘It was the merest snippet, Irma, which I happened to read. What has reminded me of it is that it was all about veils and the modern woman. Now I, as a man, have always responded to the mysterious and provocative wherever it may be found. And if these qualities are evoked by anything on earth they are evoked by a woman’s veil. But O dear me, do you know what this creature in the Women’s column wrote?’
‘What did she write?’ said Irma.
‘She wrote that “although there may be those who will continue to wear their veils, just as there are those who still crawl through the jungle on all fours because no one has ever told them that it is the custom these days to walk upright, yet she (the writer) would know full well in what grade of society to place any woman who was continuing to wear a veil, after the twenty-second of the month. After all,” the writer continued, “some things are ‘done’ and some things are not done, and as far as the sartorial aristocracy was concerned, veils might as well never have been invented”.’
‘But what nonsense it all is,’ cried the Doctor. ‘As though women are so weak that they have to follow one another so closely as all that.’ And he gave a high-pitched laugh as though to imply that a mere male could see through all that kind of nonsense.
‘Did you say the twenty-second of this month?’ said Irma, after a few moments of thick silence.
‘That is so,’ said her brother.
‘And today is the …’
‘The thirtieth,’ said her brother – ‘but surely, surely, you wouldn’t …’
‘Alfred,’ said Irma. ‘Be quiet, please. There are some things which you do not understand and one of them is a woman’s mind.’ With a deft movement of her hand she freed her face of the veil and there was her nose again as sharp as ever.
‘Now I wonder if you’d do something for me, dear.’
‘What is it, Irma, my love?’
‘I wondered if you’d do something for me, dear?’
‘What is it, Irma, my love?’
‘I wondered if you’d take – O no, I’ll have to do it myself – and you might be shocked – but perhaps if you would shut your eyes, Alfred, I could …’
‘What in the name of darkness are you driving at?’
‘I wondered, dear, at first, whether you would take my bust to the bedroom and fill it with hot water. It has got very cold, Alfred, and I don’t want to catch a chill – or perhaps if you’d rather not do that for me, you could bring the kettle downstairs to my little writing room and I’ll do it myself – will you, dear will you?’
‘Irma,’ said her brother. ‘I will not do it for you. I have done and will continue to do a lot of things for you, pleasant and unpleasant, but I will not start running around, looking for water bottles to fill for my sister’s bosom. I will not even bring down the kettle for you. Have you no kind of modesty, my love? I know you are very excited, and really don’t know what you are doing or saying, but I must have it quite clear from the start that as far as your rubber bust is concerned, I am unable to help you. If you catch a chill, then I will dose you – but until then, I would be grateful if you would leave the subject alone. But enough of that! Enough of that! The magic hour approaches. Come, come! my tiger lily!’
‘Sometimes I despise you, Alfred,’ said Irma. ‘Who would have thought that
‘Ah no! my dear, you’re far too hard on me. Have mercy. Do you think it is easy to bear your scorn when you are looking so radiant?’
‘Am I, Alfred! O, am I? Am I?’
THIRTY-FOUR
