I hastily took off the ring and picking up the chain pushed both of them into a drawer.
She came in and I could see that there was something on her mind.
“Not undressed yet.” She smiled at me tenderly. “I love you in that dress. The lace is so soft and feminine. It suits your brown eyes. It is a little too short though … and a little too tight. We must get Chastity to let out a seam and lengthen it. It’s worth it and she could do that quite well. I want Emily to get on with embroidering my petticoat. You’re growing, that’s what it is.” She kissed me. “Priscilla, I want to talk to you.”
My heart started beating uncomfortably. When one is guarding an important secret I suppose there must be these constant alarms.
“Yes,” I said.
“Well, don’t look scared. Sit down. Are you all right? You seem a little…”
I looked at her fearfully. “A little what?”
“A little on edge. Are you sure everything is all right?”
“Yes. I’m all right.”
“That’s good. This is rather a delicate matter. I’m not sure how far it has gone.”
“What… matter?” I asked faintly.
“Edwin and Christabel Connalt.”
“Oh,” I said blankly.
“So there is something. It must be stopped.”
“Why?” I asked.
“It’s most unsuitable.”
“If they love each other…”
“My dear Priscilla, you must not be so childish.”
“Is it childish to believe in love?”
“Of course not. But this governess …”
“Dear Mother, she is a governess because she has to earn her own riving. She is well educated. You would not be able to tell her from any people who come here. If Edwin loves her…”
My mother’s face hardened. It was not like her to be harsh or particularly socially conscious. I thought I understood. She was suspicious of Christabel because of the manner in which my father had brought her into the house. If it were in fact the truth that Christabel and my father had been lovers, it was perfectly understandable that my mother would not wish her to marry her son. I did not believe this for one moment-having come to know Christabel-but I had been confirmed in my opinion that it was what some of the servants believed, and if my mother was suspicious, too, that would explain her attitude.
She said: “It will have to be stopped. She will have to go away.”
“Where will she go? You have no idea what the home she came from was like. She has told me about it.” I tried to make my mother see something of what Christabel had told me, and my purpose was to reveal to her how impossible it would be for her to have carried on an affair with my father or anyone from such a place.
My mother, who when she had made up her mind usually had her way, was not listening.
I could see that she was determined that Edwin should not marry Christabel.
But it would be for Edwin to decide.
I pointed this out.
“Edwin is sensible,” said my mother. “He has always listened to me.”
“It will depend on what he thinks is sensible,” I retorted. “I know he loves you dearly and will always listen to you, but you see there is Christabel.”
“So this has gone further than I feared. And it is such a short time that they have known each other.”
“Yes, but because of what happened …” I stopped short. How angry Leigh would have been, and how easy it was to betray secrets!
“What happened?”
“Well, I mean Edwin and Leigh came back from service abroad and they looked so splendid in their uniforms … and it was all rather romantic …”I trailed off lamely.
“I just wanted to confirm what Sally Nullens had told me.”
“So it was Sally Nullens, was it? That gossiping old woman!”
“You’re being unfair to Sally. She loves Edwin and she worries about him. She doesn’t want to see him caught by an adventuress. He is far too young to marry in any case.”
“He is twenty-one.”
“My dear Priscilla, you are very unworldly. Edwin bears a great name and he must marry in accordance with his position.”
“I am very surprised to hear you talk like this. I never thought you could be hard and ruthless and socially ambitious. You have always been so different.”
“I shall do everything I can to prevent Edwin’s marrying Christabel Connalt,” said my mother firmly.
“Have you spoken to my father about it?” I asked.
Her colour heightened. I knew then. She really believed this story about the reason for my father’s bringing Christabel to the house. It seemed ridiculous. As if he would bring a mistress into the place. It showed that even now my mother was not very sure of him.
She said coldly: “It is not a matter for your father. Edwin is not his son.”
She saw how distressed I was and her mood changed. She became the loving mother I had always known.
“Darling child, you must not distress yourself. I shouldn’t have bothered you but I thought you would know more than most people did, and we don’t have secrets from each other, do we?”
I could not answer that. To have agreed would have been too false. How much easier life had been before I started to grow up.
“Forget it,” she said. “It will soon be Christmas. We must start making plans, mustn’t we?”
I caught her hands. “Please don’t send her away,” I begged. “She would be so miserable.
