“Before the week is out. Gregory has made most of the arrangements. It might well be within the next few days. So make the most of tomorrow. You’ll be able to talk in freedom on the Eyot. There’ll be only the gulls and the ghosts for company. Christabel will be there with you as chaperone but send her off to explore the ruins.”
“She will go willingly. She is completely involved.”
“Tell me abut Christabel.”
I told her.
“So your father brought her into the house.” A slow smile played about her lips.
“What did your mother say to that?”
“She thought Christabel very suitable for the post of governess.”
“Dear Arabella! Well, I’ll tell you something, Priscilla. Mistress Christabel is more than a little envious of you.”
“Envious of me!”
“I sensed it. Where does she come from? That rectory, you say. And her father was the rector.”
“She had a very unhappy childhood.”
“Perhaps that is it,” said Harriet. “Well, my dear Priscilla, it is tune you slept.
Good night. Bless you.”
She kissed me tenderly.
I slept little. I was too excited and I was looking forward to the next day with such intensity that I found it hard to think of anything else.
I was up early the next morning. There was a faint mist in the air and the previous night’s wind had dropped. It was arranged that we should set out at midday, and Harriet said that a basket of food was being prepared for us.
I was afraid to be too much in Jocelyn’s company for fear I might betray my feelings, and I was longing to be able to throw off this restraint and talk freely.
It must have been soon after eleven o’clock when I went to my room to prepare for the trip. I looked out of the window and saw Christabel in the garden talking to one of the gardeners. They were looking up at the sky and I guessed they were discussing the weather. I had been anxious that nothing should stop our going because I knew that very soon now Jocelyn would be crossing the Channel and then how could I know when I should see him again?
At half-past eleven Christabel came to my room.
“I have such a headache,” she said. “I woke up with it. I was hoping it would pass but I’m afraid it only grows worse.”
I felt apprehensive. Was she suggesting that she felt too unwell to come? There was soon no doubt of this for she went on: “Priscilla, I wonder whether you would mind very much …”
I said quickly: “Of course if you don’t feel well enough to come, you can’t.”
She was deeply concerned. “That it should be now …” she began feebly. This was the first time I had ever heard her speak of an ailment.
“I have had headaches in the past,” she went on. “Awful, blinding headaches. I thought I had grown out of them. The last one came a year or so ago. I had to lie in a darkened room until it passed.”
“Go to your room and lie down now,” I said.
“But I know what store you set on this. You want to be able to talk to him, don’t you?”
“I shall go in any case.”
She looked taken aback. Indeed I was a little amazed myself. A few days ago I should have thought it impossible for me to be alone with a young man. I thought of my conversation with Harriet. Harriet would have gone. She knew how to live. If I did not snatch this chance of being alone with Jocelyn I might regret it all my life.
I had definitely decided to go.
There was no doubt about Jocelyn’s pleasure when I saw him. He was carrying the basket of food and together we walked down to the shore.
“I’m speechless,” he said, “but you know how I feel.”
“I’m sure I feel the same.”
“There is so much to talk about.”
“Let’s wait until we are on the island.”
“No one can hear us now.”
“I shan’t feel we’re safe until we are there,” I said.
We got into the boat. I could see the island but the horizon was obscured by mist.
Jocelyn rowed steadily and within less than half an hour the bottom of the boat was scraping against the sandy shore of the island. As it loomed up before us I had to admit it looked ghostly in the greyish light.
Jocelyn took my hand as he helped me get out. He clung to it for a long time and then kissed it.
I looked over my shoulder furtively and he laughed at me. “There’s no one here but us, Priscilla.”
“I’m so fearful for you.”
“But we’re here … alone.”
“I mean I’m afraid of what’s going to happen.”
He released me to tether the boat. Then we walked up the slope to the ruins of the abbey.
“I shall be going to France shortly,” he said. “I shall be safe there. You must come to me, Priscilla.”
“They’ll never allow me to.”
“I’ve talked it over with Harriet. We could be married. Then you could come with me.”
“My parents would never agree.”
“I meant we would marry and tell them afterwards.”
My happiness was tinged with sorrow. My mother would be so hurt if I acted in such a secretive way. It was hard to explain to Jocelyn how close I had been to her. There was a special relationship between us which was in part due to my father’s indifference towards me. I knew how deeply grieved she would be if I took such a step secretly, for it would mean I was shutting her out of my life.
I shook my head.
