I hung up before he could object, feeling proud of myself. I hadn’t shown the least emotion, I had been curt, a few remarks in Italian, polite first, then aloof. I hoped that Pietro was right: was I really acquiring Adele’s tone, was I learning, without realizing it, her way of being in the world? I decided to find out whether I was capable, if I wanted, of carrying out the threat I had ended the phone call with. Agitated—as I had not been when I called Bruno, still the boring boy who had tried to kiss me on the beach of Citara—I dialed the number of the editorial offices of
“What’s the angle?” he asked. “Construction, longshoremen, miners?”
“It’s a sausage factory,” I said. “Not a big deal.”
The man continued to make fun of me: “You don’t have to apologize, it’s fine. If Elena Greco, to whom this newspaper devoted no less than half a page of profuse praise, decides to write about sausages, can we poor editors possibly say: that it doesn’t interest us? Are thirty lines enough? Too few? Let’s be generous, make it sixty. When you’ve finished, will you bring it to me in person or dictate it?”
I began working on the article right away. I had to squeeze out of Lila’s pages my sixty lines, and for love of her I wanted to do a good job. But I had no experience of newspaper writing, apart from when, at the age of fifteen, I had tried to write about the conflict with the religion teacher for Nino’s journal: with terrible results. I don’t know, maybe it was that memory that complicated things. Or maybe it was the editor’s sarcastic tone that rang in my ears, especially when, at the end of the call, he asked me to give his best to my mother-in-law. Certainly I took a lot of time, I wrote and rewrote stubbornly. But even when the article seemed to be finished I wasn’t satisfied and I didn’t take it to the newspaper. I have to talk to Lila first, I said to myself, it’s a thing that should be decided together; I’ll turn it in tomorrow.
The next day I went to see Lila; she seemed particularly unwell. She complained that when I wasn’t there certain presences took advantage of my absence and emerged from objects to bother her and Gennaro. Then she realized that I was alarmed and, in a tone of amusement, said it was all nonsense, she just wanted me to be with her more. We talked a lot, I soothed her, but I didn’t give her the article to read. What held me back was the idea that if
“Happy?”
“Yes.”
“Did you write your article?”
“Yes.”
“You see? I was sure you wouldn’t do it.”
“In fact it’s ready, I’ll take it to
“Good. I run the risk of underestimating you.”
“It’s a risk?”
“Underestimating always is. How’s it going with that poor little creature my son?”
50.