“Uh-huh. You talked about him a lot, you know. He was a big part of our lives.”
“There was and is absolutely nothing between me and my secretary, if that’s what you think,” he says. “She’s dating a guy who works in Baltimore. I’ve got this dream that she’ll marry him and leave the dog behind, because he’s got cats.”
“I hope for your sake that happens. I’ve got to go to work.”
“How about coffee?” he says.
“Sure,” I say. “We’ll talk again.”
“What’s wrong with coffee right now?”
“Don’t you have a job?”
“I thought we were going to be friends. Wasn’t that your idea? Ditch me because I’m ten years younger than you, because you’re such an ageist, but we can still be great friends, you can even marry some guy and we’ll still be friends, but you never call, and when you do it’s with some question about a dog you took a dislike to before you ever met him, because you’re a jealous woman. The same way you can like somebody’s kid, and not like them, I like the dog.”
“You love the dog.”
“Okay, so I’m a little leery about that word. Can I come over for coffee tonight, if you don’t have time now?”
“Only if you agree in advance to do me a favor.”
“I agree to do you a favor.”
“Don’t you want to know what it is?”
“No.”
“It calls on one of your little-used skills.”
“Sex?”
“No, not sex. Paper cutting.”
“What do you want me to cut up that you can’t cut up?”
“A letter from my sister-in-law.”
“You don’t have a sister-in-law. Wait: Your brother got married? I’m amazed. I thought he didn’t much care for women.”
“You think Tim is gay?”
“I didn’t say that. I always thought of the guy as a misanthrope. I’m just saying I’m surprised. Why don’t you rip up the letter yourself ?”
“Vic, don’t be obtuse. I want you to do one of those cutout things with it. I want you to take what I’m completely sure is something terrible and transform it. You know—that thing your grandmother taught you.”
“Oh,” he says. “You mean, like the fence and the arbor with the vine?”
“Well, I don’t know. It doesn’t have to be that.”
“I haven’t practiced in a while,” he says. “Did you have something particular in mind?”
“I haven’t read it,” I say. “But I think I know what it says. So how about a skeleton with something driven through its heart?”
“I’m afraid my grandmother’s interest was landscape.”
“I bet you could do it.”
“Sailboat riding on waves?”
“My idea is better.”
“But out of my field of expertise.”
“Tell me the truth,” I say. “I can handle it. Did you buy groceries to cook that woman dinner?”
“No,” he says. “Also, remember that you dumped me, and then for a finale you married some jerk, so I’d be entitled to do anything I wanted. Then you call and want me to make a corpse with a stake through its heart because you don’t like your new sister-in-law, either. Ask yourself: Am I so normal myself ?”
Banderas nearly topples me, then immediately begins sniffing, dragging the afghan off the sofa. He rolls on a corner as if it were carrion, snorting as he rises and charges toward the bedroom.
“That’s the letter?” Vic says, snatching the envelope from the center of the table. He rips it open. “Dear Sister-in-law,” he reads, holding the paper above his head as I run toward him. He looks so different with his stubbly beard, and I realize with a pang that I don’t recognize the shirt he’s wearing. He starts again: “Dear Sister-in-law.” He whirls sideways, the paper clutched tightly in his hand. “I know that Tim will be speaking to you, but I wanted to personally send you this note. I think that families have differences, but everyone’s viewpoint is important. I would very much like—” He whirls again, and this time Banderas runs into the fray, rising up on his back legs as if he, too, wanted the letter.
“Let the dog eat it! Let him eat the thing if you have to read it out loud!” I say.
“—to invite you for Thanksgiving dinner, and also to offer you some of our frequent-flier miles, if that might be helpful, parenthesis, though it may be a blackout period, end paren.”
Vic looks at me. “Aren’t you embarrassed at your reaction to this woman? Aren’t you?”
The dog leaps into the afghan and rolls again, catching a claw in the weave. Vic and I stand facing each other. I am panting, too shocked to speak.
“Please excuse Tim for disappearing when I came to the door of the Oaks. I was there to see if I could help. He said my face provoked a realization of his newfound strength.” Vic sighs. He says, “Just what I was afraid of—some New Ager as crazy as your brother. ‘I’m sure you understand that I was happy to know that I could be helpful to Tim in this trying time. We must all put the past behind us and celebrate our personal Thanksgiving, parenthesis, our wedding, end paren, and I am sure that everything can be put right when we get together. Fondly, your sister-in-law, Cora.’ ”
There are tears in my eyes. The afghan is going to need major repair. Vic has brought his best friend into my house to destroy it, and all he will do is hold the piece of paper above his head, as if he’d just won a trophy.
