All new members were collected together and taken once more into the basement room that ran beneath the farmhouse. Robin had started to dread this room, because she’d come to associate it with hours of particularly intense indoctrination. These sessions always seemed to happen in the late afternoon, when energy levels were lowest and hunger at its peak, and the windowless room became claustrophobic and hot. Agreeing with any proposition put to them was the easiest way for members to speed release from the hard floor and the insistent voice of whoever was lecturing them.

This afternoon it was the perennially cheerful Becca who stood waiting for them on the stage in front of the large screen, which was currently blank.

‘I thank you for your service,’ Becca said, putting her hands together and bowing.

‘And I for yours,’ chorused the seated church members, also bowing.

A young man then started handing out pens and paper, which was a most unusual occurrence. These basic means of self-expression were ruthlessly controlled at Chapman Farm, even down to the pencils tied firmly to the journals. The pens were numbered, as they’d been on the minibus.

‘This afternoon, you’ll be taking an important step in freeing yourselves from materialist possession,’ said Becca. ‘Most of you will have somebody back in the materialist world who’ll be expecting communication from you at this time.’

The screen behind Becca now lit up, showing printed words. Key Components of Materialist Possession.

• Assumed ownership based on biology.

• Abuse (physical, emotional, spiritual).

• Anger at actions/beliefs that challenge materialism.

• Attempts to disrupt spiritual development.

• Coercion disguised as concern.

• Demand for emotional service/labour.

• Desire to direct your life’s course.

‘I want each of you now to think of the person or people who most strongly demonstrate the seven key signs of materialist possession towards you. A good measure is to ask yourself who’ll be angriest that you’ve dedicated yourself to the Universal Humanitarian Church.

‘Vivienne,’ said Becca, pointing at the girl with the spiky black hair, who always determinedly tried to sound less middle class than she really was. ‘Who demonstrates the key signs most strongly in your life?’

‘My muvver and stepfather, definitely,’ said Vivienne at once. ‘All seven points.’

‘Walter?’ said Becca, pointing at him.

‘My son,’ said Walter promptly. ‘Most of those points would apply. My daughter would be far more understanding.’

‘Marion?’ said Becca, pointing to the ginger-haired middle-aged woman who always became pink and breathless at the mere mention of Jonathan Wace, and whose roots were slowly turning silver.

‘I suppose… my daughters,’ said Marion.

‘Materialist bonds are hard to sever,’ said Becca, now walking up and down on stage in her long orange robes and wearing her tight, cold smile, ‘but they’re the ties that bind you closest to the bubble world. It’s impossible to become pure spirit until you’ve dissolved these connections and rid yourself of the cravings of the false self.’

The image on the screen behind Becca changed to show a scribbled letter. All names had been blacked out.

‘This is an example of a case of extreme materialist possession, which was sent to one of our members by a supposedly loving family member, a few years ago.’

There was silence in the room as the group read the words onscreen.

███████████

We got your letter the same day. ██████ was admitted to hospital with a massive stroke, brought on by the stress she’s been under following ██████’s death, and by totally avoidable worry about you. Given the important work you’re doing saving the world from Satan, you probably don’t give a shit whether ██████ lives or dies, but I thought I’d just let you know the consequences of your actions. As for screwing any more money out of ██████, unfortunately for you I’ve now got Power of Attorney, so consider this letter an invitation for you and the UHC to go fuck yourselves.

███████████

‘It’s all in there, isn’t it?’ said Becca, looking up at the screen. ‘Emotional blackmail, materialist obsession with money, sneering at our mission, but most importantly, duplicity. The elderly family member in question hadn’t suffered a stroke at all and the writer of the letter was found to be embezzling money out of their account.’

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