‘Forget what I said,’ he retorted angrily, still struggling to achieve an erection. ‘It was false self, I didn’t mean it!’
‘Why did you say it at all, then?’
‘I was… I don’t like Seymour, that’s all. She shouldn’t be a Principal. She’s a BP. She doesn’t understand doctrine.’
‘But what you said makes sense,’ said Robin, ‘there
‘“Human knowledge is finite,”’ said Will
‘D’you believe everything the church says? All of it?’ asked Robin, forcing herself to turn and face him, his semi-erect penis in his hand.
‘“Persistent refusal to merge the self with the collective reveals ongoing egomotivity.”
The motor of the lawnmower continued to roar right beside the glass doors.
‘For God’s sake,’ said Robin, trapped between Amandeep and the masturbating Will, ‘you’re really intelligent, why are you afraid of
‘“Materialist thought patterns are entrenched at a young age. Breaking those patterns requires, in the first instance, the focusing of the mind on essential truths through repetition and meditation.”
‘So you’ve voluntarily brainwashed yourself?’
Will stood up, towering over her, his hand still working to maintain his erection. ‘It’s a sin to come in here for anything other than spirit bonding!’
‘If you force me to have sex with you,’ said Robin in a low voice, ‘it’ll be rape, and how will the UHC like being hit with a lawsuit?’
The lawnmower outside banged against the far wall of the cabin. Will’s hand stopped moving. He stood in front of her, painfully thin, still holding his penis.
‘Where have they taken Lin?’ Robin asked, determined to break through to him.
‘Somewhere safe,’ he said, before adding angrily, ‘but that’s nothing to do with you.’
‘So I’m to merge myself with the collective by not thinking, and having sex with anyone who wants it, but I’m not allowed to be worried about a fellow church member, is that what you’re saying?’
‘You need to shut up,’ said Will furiously, ‘because I know things about you. You were in the woods at night, with a torch.’
‘No, I wasn’t,’ said Robin automatically.
‘Yeah, you were. I didn’t say anything, to protect Lin, but it can’t hurt her now.’
‘Why did you want to protect Lin? That’s materialist possession, caring about one person more than everyone else. Is it because she’s the mother of your child? Because Qing belongs to everyone in the church, not just—’
‘Shut up,’ said Will, and he raised his hand threateningly.
‘No quotations for any of that?’ asked Robin, still angrier than she was scared. ‘You haven’t told anyone I had a torch in all the days since Lin’s been gone. Why didn’t you report me?’
‘Because they’ll say I should have done it sooner!’
‘Or did you secretly like thinking someone was wandering around with a torch at night?’
‘Why would I?’
‘You could have refused to come with me to the Retreat R—’
‘No, I couldn’t, you’ve got to go when you’re asked—’
‘I think you’re having doubts about the church.’
Will’s eyes narrowed. He let go of his penis and backed away several steps.
‘Did my father send you here?’
‘Why would you think that?’
‘He’s done it before. He sent a man to spy on me.’
‘I’m not a spy.’
Will snatched his pants and tracksuit bottoms off the floor and began to pull them on. Certain he was going to walk out and immediately reveal the conversation, Robin, now planning to make a break for the woods the moment she left the cabin, said,
‘What if I told you your family sent me?’
Will was now jumping on the spot as he pulled up his tracksuit bottoms.
‘I’m going to Papa J, right now,’ he said furiously. ‘I’m going to tell him—’
‘Will, your family loves you—’
‘They hate me,’ he spat at her. ‘
‘That isn’t true!’
Will bent to grab his sweatshirt, his face suffused with angry colour.
‘My moth—Sally loves me. He doesn’t. He writes me lies, trying to force me to abandon the church.’
‘What lies does he write you?’
‘He pretended Mu—Sally was ill. I didn’t care, particularly,’ Will added savagely, pulling his top back on. ‘She’s no more to me now than you are. I’m not her flesh object. Anyway, she always sticks up for my—for Colin. But M—Sally wasn’t ill. She’s fine.’
‘How do you know that?’ said Robin.
‘I just know.’
‘Will,’ said Robin, ‘your mother’s dead. She died in January.’
Will froze. Outside, the lawnmower whined as Amandeep cut the power. Evidently he was counting down their twenty minutes. After what felt like a very long pause, Will said quietly,
‘You’re lying.’
‘I really wish I was,’ whispered Robin, ‘but I’m n—’
A rush of wild movement, the thump of bare feet of wood: Robin flung up her arms too late, and Will’s punch hit her squarely on the side of her face and with a scream of pain and shock she fell sideways, hitting the wall before landing hard on the floor.
