The Running Grave полностью

‘I don’ wanna talk about that,’ said Carrie, her voice strained. ‘They wuz angry. They had every right to be. If somebody had taken one of my little—’

Carrie emitted something between a gasp and a cough and began to cry again. She rocked backwards and forwards, sobbing into her hands for a couple of minutes. When Robin silently mimed to Strike an offer of comfort to Carrie, Strike shook his head. Doubtless he’d be accused of heartlessness again on the return journey, but he wanted to hear Carrie’s own words, not her response to somebody else’s sympathy or ire.

‘I’ve regretted it all my life, all my life,’ Carrie sobbed, raising her swollen-eyed face, tears still coursing down her cheeks. ‘I felt like I didn’ deserve Poppy and Daisy, when I had ’em! I shouldn’ of agreed… why did I do it? Why? I’ve asked myself that over ’n’ over, but I swear I never wan’ed – I wuz young, I knew it wuz wrong, I never wan’ed it to happen, oh God, and then she wuz dead and it wuz real, it wuz real…’

‘What d’you mean by that?’ said Strike. ‘What d’you mean by “it was real”?’

‘It wuzn’ a joke, it wuzn’ pretend – when you’re young, you don’ think stuff like that happens – but it wuz real, she wuzn’ comin’ back…’

‘The inquest must have been difficult for you,’ said Strike.

‘Of course it wuz,’ said Carrie, her face wet, her breathing still laboured, but with a trace of anger.

‘Mr Heaton says you spoke to him outside, after it was over.’

‘I can’ remember that.’

‘He remembers. He particularly remembers you saying to him, “I could have stopped it.”’

‘I never said that.’

‘You’re denying saying “I could have stopped it” to Mr Heaton?’

‘Yeah. No. I don’… maybe I said somethin’ like, “I could’ve stopped her goin’ in so deep.” That’s wha’ I meant.’

‘So you remember saying it now?’

‘No, but if I said it… that’s what I meant.’

‘It’s just a strange form of words,’ said Strike. ‘“I could have stopped it”, rather than, “I could have stopped her.” Were you aware there was a custody battle going on for Daiyu, at the time you took her to the beach?’

‘No.’

‘You hadn’t heard any talk about the Graves family wanting Daiyu to go and live with them?’

‘I heard… I heard somethin’ about how there wuz people who wanted to take Daiyu off her mum.’

‘That’s the Graveses,’ said Strike.

‘Oh. I thought it wuz social workers,’ said Carrie, and she said a little wildly, ‘they have too much power.’

‘What makes you say that?’

‘A friend of mine’s fosterin’. She has a terrible time with the social workers. Power mad, some of them.’

‘Can we go back to the night before you and Daiyu went swimming?’ said Strike.

‘I’ve already told you everythin’. I’ve said it all.’

‘We’ve heard you gave the children special drinks that night.’

‘No, I didn’!’ said Carrie, now turning pink.

‘The Pirbright children remember differently.’

‘Well, they’re wrong! Maybe someone else gave ’em drinks and they’re confusin’ it with that night. I never gave them any.’

‘So you didn’t give the younger children anything that might have made them fall asleep more quickly?’

‘Of course not!’

‘Were there any medicines like that at the farm? Any sleeping pills or liquids?’

‘No, never. Stuff like tha’ wuzn’ allowed.’

‘Emily says she didn’t like her drink, and poured it away,’ said Robin. ‘And she told me that after everyone else was asleep, you helped Daiyu out of the dormitory window.’

‘That didn’ happen. That never happened. That’s a lie,’ said Carrie. ‘I never, never put her out of a window.’

She seemed far more distressed about this allegation than she’d been while discussing the drowning.

‘So Emily’s making that up?’

‘Or she dreamed it. She could of dreamed it.’

‘Emily says Daiyu did quite a bit of sneaking around at the farm,’ said Robin. ‘She claimed to be doing magic with older children in the woods and the barns.’

‘Well, I never saw her sneakin’ around.’

‘Emily also told me Daiyu sometimes had forbidden food and small toys, things the other children weren’t allowed. Did you get those for her?’

‘No, of course not! I couldn’ve done, even if I’d wan’ed. You weren’ allowed money. I never went to the shops. Nobody did. It wuzn’ allowed.’

A short silence followed these words. Carrie watched Strike taking his mobile out of his pocket. Colour was coming and going in her face, and the hand with the henna tattoo was now frantically twisting her wedding and engagement rings.

Strike had deliberately left the Polaroids of the naked youths in pig masks at the office today. Since Reaney had knocked them to the floor during his interview, Strike had rethought the advisability of handing these original pieces of evidence to angry or frightened interviewees.

‘I’d like you to look at these photos,’ he told Carrie. ‘There are six of them. You can swipe right to see the others.’

He stood up to hand his mobile to Carrie. She began to visibly shake again as she looked down at the screen.

‘We know the blonde is you,’ said Strike.

Carrie opened her mouth, but no sound came out at first. Then she whispered,

‘It’s not me.’