It was wonderful. Music played, officers roared, bottles broke, songs were sung. Uniformed Bgures slumped over the tables while others had slid to the floor. The survivors were well on their way to join the succumbed. I pushed through this alcoholic hell and greatly admired the unconscious drunks. I was still aching from the captain's spirited defense. I had rediscovered adictum that must be as old as crime. Rolling drunks is easier than mugging.
A major in the space service caught my eye, prone on the floor and snoring. I knelt next to him and stretched my arm out next to his. Same length; his uniform should make a fine fit.
"Washa?" a voice muttered from above and I realized that my bit of tailoring measurement had not gone unnoticed.
• "The major is on duty later. I was sent to get him. Come cm major, walkies, sackies."
I struggled to lift the limp figure, aided very slightly by his friends. In the end I seized him under the arms and dragged him from the room. His departure was not noticed. Through a door and down a hall, to a storeroom filled to the ceiling with bottles of strong beverage. He would feel right at home here. With the door secured I took my time about stripping him and donning his uniform. Even his cap fitted well. I was a new man, rather officer.
I left him dozing out of sight behind the drink. Straightened my tie. And sallied forth to save the world. Not for the first and, I had the feeling, not for the last time either. Chapter 24
I looked around at the bottles, reached for one—then slapped my wrist.
"No, Jimmy, not for you. The number of beers you had this evening will have to suffice. What you have to do will be better off done sober. "
What did I have to do? Simply get aboard one of the spacers, find the communications room, then locate the coordinates of this planet. Easy to say: a little difficult to do.
At least the first part was easy enough to accomplish; locate the spacers. I had seen the floodlit shapes of three of them rising high above the tents earlier in the evening. The party was still crashing inside so this would be a good time to move through the camp. While plenty of drunks were still staggering about. I brushed some dust from my lapel, straightened the medals on my chest. Quite a collection. I turned the gaudiest one over and craned to read it. THE GLORIOUS UNIT AWARDS WEEKS WITHOUT VD IN TllЈ COMPANY. Wonderful. I assumed the rest of the lot had been given for equally valiant military endeavors. Time to go-
It looked like events in the alcoholic bedlam were winding down for the night. A grill was being locked over the bar. Orderlies were loading unconscious forms onto stretch-
ers, while the walking wounded were stumbling toward the exit. A brace of gray-haired colonels were leaning against each other and moving their feet up and down and not getting anyplace. I made the twosome a threesome and let them lean on me.
"I am going your way, sirs. Perhaps I could accompany you?"
"You shure a good buddy… buddy," one of them breathed my way. The alcoholic content of my blood instantly shot up and I hiccuped. .
We exited in this manner, weaved our way between the ambulances being loaded with officerial alcoholics, and staggered off into the night. In the direction of the spacers. I had not the slightest idea where the BOQ was—nor did I care. Nor did my drink-sodden companions. It took all their concentration, and what little conscious mind they had remaining, to simply put one foot in front of another.
A squad ofMPs turned the corner in front of us, saw the gleam of light from the silver chickens on my companions' shoulders. Then did the smartest about face to the rear march I had ever seen.
My drunks were getting heavier and heavier and moving slower and slower as we stumbled through the tentlined street toward a brightly lit building at the end. It was large and permanent, undoubtedly part of the park facilities purloined from the natives. Even at this hour of the night, morning really, two armed guards stood at the entrance. All the rocks along the path were painted white tod the overly ornate sign above the door read BASE HEADQUARTERS—GEN. ZENNOR COMMANDING.
This was definitely not the place for me. I maneuvered my charges onto the grass, next to the sign KEEP OFF OR GET SHOT. and let go. They dropped instantly and began snoring.
"You, guards," I called out. "One of you get the Officer of the Day. These colonels have been taken ill. Food poisoning I think."
I glared my best glare and not a muscle moved in their faces.
