The Stingray Shuffle полностью

“I had six cops lose their lunches back there when we found ’em,” said the detective. “What kind of a monster…?”

The examiner pulled off his latex gloves. “I wouldn’t have believed it if I hadn’t seen it with my own eyes. I always knew it was theoretically possible, but I’ve never actually heard of it being done to humans.”

“Are you gonna tell me or what?”

“Someone literally turned them into jerky.”

23

A white Mercedes Z310 cruised down US 1. Ivan was driving, pulling sandwiches from a fast-food sack in his lap. “Who had the cheddar melt?”

“Here,” said Alexi.

Vladimir leaned forward from the backseat and tapped Ivan on the shoulder. “Did you know there’s a disproportionate incidence of autoerotic strangulation among hockey players?”

“What?”

Vladimir sat back in his seat. “If you pass out, there’s still a chance you can come back to life, right?”

Ivan glanced at Vladimir in the rearview, then back at the road. “Who the fuck did they send me this time?”

A hand with a sandwich came up from the backseat, next to Ivan’s head. “I asked for no pickles.”

Ivan slapped it away. “Just keep your eyes peeled for a pink Cadillac. A pimp saw them pulling out of the old train depot.”

Serge was driving south on US 1 again. Actually Lenny was driving; Serge was just sitting in the driver’s seat.

“My arm’s getting tired,” said Lenny, steering from the passenger side.

“Just a few more pictures,” said Serge. “I can’t believe how much has changed. The Dairy Belle’s still here, but not much else.” Click, click.

Lenny tried lighting a joint with his free hand but couldn’t get it going. The car began swerving.

Serge lowered his camera and looked over. “What the hell do you think you’re doing?”

“What?” said Lenny, taking the joint out of his mouth.

“You’re driving, for Chrissake!”

They ran a yellow light, followed by a white Mercedes.

“Where are they going?” asked Dmitri.

“That’s what we’re trying to find out,” said Ivan.

“They keep changing lanes for no reason.”

“Classic evasion tactic,” said Ivan.

“Woah!” said Lenny. “I almost hit that bus. I think I’m too high to drive.”

Dmitri snapped pictures of the Cadillac with a spy camera. “Did you see how he angled around that bus?”

Ivan nodded. “Must have been trained by Israelis.”

Lenny reached under the seat and yanked a Bud off a plastic ring. “I need a beer to level out.”

“That’s where Indian River Citrus used to be,” said Serge. Click, click, click.

“Those two poor bastards back at the depot,” said Lenny, shaking his head. “On one hand, I feel sorry for them. On the other, we almost lost the briefcase. Did you really have to kill them like that?”

“They handled the briefcase.”

“But only for a second.”

“I told you it was cursed.”

Lenny took a swig of beer, wiped his mouth with the back of his arm and looked up at the sky. “What a great place to live!” The car swerved.

Click, click, click. “That’s where the Publix used to be, and that’s where they tore down the bazaar tower, and they closed Spanish Courts over there and…oh my God!…”

“What is it?”

Serge focused the camera. Click, click. “They bulldozed the porn theater!”

“You’re nostalgic about a porno joint?”

“No, but it used to be the regular Main Street theater back in the sixties when I was going to parochial school. That’s where the nuns took us to see The Sound of Music when it first came out.”

“You were taught by nuns?” said Lenny.

Serge nodded. “That’s how I became an altar boy.”

“Wait a minute. Hold the fuckin’ phone. You were an altar boy?”

“Good one, too. Right up until I was defrocked.” Click, click, click. “There was absolutely no reason for them to expel me from the program like that.”

“This is explaining a whole lot,” said Lenny. “Now it’s all starting to make sense.”

“It was Easter Mass, and we were wearing all those heavy vestments, the cassock and surplice. There were extra stage lights, and the place was packed — really hot. I had never fainted before, so I didn’t know what it felt like. I’m kneeling on the side of the altar ready to ring the bells and everything starts getting dim, and I’m wobbling around on my knees like a duckpin. Then it goes completely black. I’m right on the verge of fainting but for some reason I didn’t. The conditions were just perfect so I remained on that cusp, semiconscious and upright, but lights out. I’m just a kid — what do I know? I think some kind of miracle is going on. I feel around the ground and push myself to my feet and face the congregation. They say the priest was in the middle of the consecration when I raised my arms in the air and yelled, ‘I’m blind! God has made me blind!’ Then I fainted in the Easter lilies.”

The Cadillac sailed through the intersection at Okeechobee Boulevard, then Southern, Lake Worth, Lantana, Hypoluxo, down into Boynton Beach, Delray Beach, Deerfield Beach.

“Lenny, you’re from this area. Know any good safe houses?”

“Yeah, why?”

“Because I’d like to get this car off the road. It’s probably not a hot idea to keep driving it.”