From the master storyteller and internationally bestselling author - the story of humanity from prehistory to the present day, told through the one thing all humans have in common: family.
TO MY DARLING SON,
SASHA
In memory of my parents,
Stephen & April
CONTENTS
Dedication
Title Page
Epigraph
Preface and Acknowledgements
Note
Introduction
ACT ONE WORLD POPULATION:
Houses of Sargon and Ahmose: Ziggurats and Pyramids
Poetess, Princess, Victim, Avenger: Enheduanna
Kubaba: First Queen
Khufu and Mother: The Pyramid Builders
My Father I Knew Not: Sargon King-Smasher
Enheduanna’S Revenge
The Shattered Head of Seqenenre the Brave
Hatshepsut: Foremost of the Women – First Pharaoh
Boy Racer, Marksman, Horse Whisperer, Bull Breaker: Amenhotep
Mistress of Egypt: Gold, Wives and Diplomacy
Houses of Hattusa and Rameses
Sun Mania: Nefertiti and the King of Hatti
Transitioning: The Male Nefertiti, Tutankhamun’S Wife and the Prince of Hatti
Clash of the Charioteers: Rameses and Muwatalli
War Queens: Lady Hao of Shang, Pudehepa of Hattusa and Nefertari of Egypt
The Nubian Pharaohs and Great Kings of Ashur: House Alara versus House Tiglath-Pileser
Three Queens: Jezebel, Semiramis and Athaliah
Tiglath-Pileser and Family: The World -Conquering Assyrians
Alara of Kush: First African Empire
Africa Versus Asia: Shabaka Versus Sennacherib
Depression of A World King: Esarhaddon and Taharqo
Ashurbanipal and Grandmother: A Power Partnership
ACT TWO 100 MILLION
Haxamanis and Alcmaeon: Houses of Persia and Athens
Nebuchadnezzar, His Queen and the Whore of Babylon
Cyrus and Queen Tomyris: Conqueror To Goblet
Darius and Buddha: The Wheel
The Alexandrians and the Haxamanishiya: Eurasian Duel
Queen Amestris and the Mutilation of Artaynte
Pericles, Aspasia and the Plague of Athens
Alcibiades and Socrates
The Poison Contest of Persia and the Literary Halitosis Plot of Macedonia
One-Eyed Philip and Queen Olympias
Roulette: Darius Iii and Alexander Iii
Alexander, Roxane and Chandragupta: World King, Afghan Queen, Indian King
Death In Babylon: The Killing Commences
The Mauryans and the Qin
Seleukos In India: The Rise of Chandragupta
Ashoka – Wheel -Turning King
Heart of Tiger and Wolf: Enter the Qin
The Barcas and the Scipios: The Houses of Carthage and Rome
Love Among the Ptolemies
African Lightning and Human Sacrifice: Barca of Carthage
Scipio, Hannibal and Masinissa
Demetrios, King of the Indians
Rotting Fish of Qing: The Rise of Little Rascal
Monstress: Meet the Human Swine
Mihrdad and Judah: Jewish Hammer; Parthian Shot
Africanus the Younger and the King of Numidia: The death of Great Cities
ACT THREE 120 MILLION
The Han and the Caesars
King Fatso, His Son and the Cleopatras
Harmonious Kinship, Blood -Spattered Marriage: A Princess with the Nomads
The King Who Couldn’T Be Poisoned, The Monorchistic Dictator and the Teenaged Butcher
The Castrated Historian and Emperor Wu
Bald Fornicator and Egyptian Queen: Caesar and Cleopatra
Crassus’ Head and the Million Dead Gauls
Who I Screw: Cleopatra, Caesar and Antony
Cleopatra’S Snake, Alexander’S Nose
Augustus, Julia and the One -Eyed Queen of Kush
Flying Swallow and the Passion of the Cut Sleeve
The Reptile of Capri
If Only Rome Had One Neck: Caligula and Sisters
Trajans and First Step Sharks: Romans and the Maya
Swinger in the Palace: Messalina’S Coup
Rule of the Freedmen: Agrippina’S Marriage
Mothers, Brothers and Sisters: Nero, Agrippina and the Bans
Authoress and the Protector-General in the Tiger’S Lair: Ban Chao and the Wise One
Star Wars, Pierced Penises, Sex Slaves and Steam Baths
Hadrian In Love: Death on the Nile
Severans and Zenobians: Arab Dynasties
The Eunuchs, The Imperial Philosopher and the Pandemic
The Philosopher’S Monster: Commodus
Slaughter of Eunuchs and the Megalomania of Exsuperatorius
Elagabalus In Transition: The African Emperor and Three Arab Empresses
The Shah, The Stuffed Emperor and the Salted Testicles
Zenobia and Constantine
ACT FOUR 200 MILLION
Houses of Constantine, Sasan and Spearthrower Owl
Christian Family Values: Wife Killer and Thirteenth Apostle
The Crowned Embryo and the Pagan Emperor
First Crocodile and Rugila the Hun
Attila and Empress Placidia
Attila’S Bloody Wedding – and Justinian’S Bride
Qusay and Justinian: From Constantinople To Mecca
Justinian: Solomon, I Have Surpassed You
Justinian’s Pandemic – and the Killer Birds of Mecca
ACT FIVE 300 MILLION
The Muhammad Dynasty
Family Feud
The Emperor Who Crowed Like A Cock and Barked Like A Dog: The Madness of Justin
Recite! I Cannot Recite! Recite! The Revelation of Muhammad
Tang and Sasan
Deadly Hunter, Lion of the East: Khusrau’S Megalomania
Taizong and the King of Tibet
Xuanzang’S Travels: The Opening of the Indosphere
The Family of Muhammad
Prune the Foreskinned Ones With Your Swords! Conquests of the Muhammad Family
Enchanting Wu: The Empress Killed My Baby
ACT SIX 207 MILLION
Houses of Muhammad and Charlemagne
Arab Caesar and Yazid of Whoring, Yazid of Monkeys
Political Jism: The Teeth and Claws of Empress Wu
The Fly Killer of Damascus and the Empresses of Tang
The Hammer and the Playboy Caliph: Cunts On A Lion’S Brow
The Bloodshedder and the Giant Baby: Rise of Abbas, Fall of Tang
The Falcon of Al -andalus and the Crowned Doves of Aix: Abd Al-Rahman and Charlemagne
