`I'm not going down any sewers, Gaius. The pieces that have been found were in the aqueducts – you ought to know the difference. Anyway, it's all been taken care of now. An official is investigating the matter for the Curator of the Aqueducts, and Petronius and I are going back to our ordinary work.'
`Will the water board pay us for bones and stuff?'
`No, they'll arrest you for causing a riot. The Curator wants to keep this quiet. Anyway, what you've found may be nothing.'
`Oh yes it is,' Gaius corrected me hotly. `It's somebody's big toe!'
At my shoulder Helena shuddered. Keen to impress her, the wretch brought out the knob of dark matter again, then once more demanded how much I would pay for it. I looked at it. `Come off it, Gaius. Stop annoying me by trying to palm me off with an old dog's bone.'
Gaius scrutinised the item himself, then sadly agreed he was trying it on. `I'll still hold the lamp for you if you go down the sewers.'
`The aqueducts, I told you. Anyway, I'd rather you held the baby so I don't get told off for abandoning her.'
`Gaius hasn't even seen Julia yet,' suggested Helena. My nephew had bunked off from our introduction party. He hated family gatherings: a lad with hidden sense.
Rather to my surprise he asked for a viewing now. Helena took him indoors and even lifted the baby out of the cradle so he could hold her. After one appalled glance he accepted the sleeping bundle (for some reason Gains had always been fairly polite to Helena), and then we watched the famous tough being overcome by our tiny tot until he was positively eulogising her miniature fingers and toes. We tried not to show our distaste for this sentimentality.
`I thought you had little brothers and sisters of your own,' said Helena.
`Oh, I don't have anything to do with them!' returned Gaius scornfully. He looked thoughtful. `If I did look after her, would there be a fee?'
`Of course,' said Helena at once.
'If you did it properly,' 'I added weakly. I would sooner leave Gaius in charge of a cage of rats, but the situation was desperate, Besides, I never thought he would want to do it.
`How much?' He was a true member of the Didii. I named a price, Gaius made me double it, then he handed Julia very carefully back to Helena and decided to go home.
Helena called him back to be given a cinnamon pastry (to my annoyance, since I had already spotted it on the table and had been looking forward to devouring it myself). Then she kissed his cheek formally; Gaius screwed up his face, but failed to avoid the salute.
`Jupiter! I hope he's clean. I haven't dragged him to the baths since we went, to Spain.'
We watched him go. I still held his little treasure from the, drains. I was pleased with myself for rebuffing his attempt at bribery, though I had mixed feelings all the same.
`Why's that?' asked Helena dubiously,, already suspecting the worst.
`Mainly because I rather think it really is a human toe.'
Helena touched my cheek gently, with the same air of taming a wild creature that she had shown when kissing Gaius. `Well there you are,' she murmured. `Anacrites can do what he likes – but you're obviously still taking an interest!''
Lenia let Petro and me put up a notice on the laundry advising that all samples of body parts from the waterways were now required ‘By Order’ to be handed in to Anacrites. That helped.
We had become so notorious that even our flow of regular clients improved. Mostly they brought in work we could do with our eyes closed. There were the usual barristers wanting witness statements from people who lived out of Rome. I sent Petro to do those. It was a good way to take his mind off missing his children – and to make sure he could not disgrace himself again by visiting Balbina Milvia. Besides, he had not yet realised that the reason the barristers wanted to employ us for this work was that it was tedious as all Hades riding a mule to Lavinium and back just to hear some crone describe how her old brother had lost his temper with a wheelwright and bopped him on the nob with half an amphora (bearing in mind that the wheelwright would probably get cold feet about suing the brother and withdraw, the case anyway)
I busied myself tracing debtors' and carrying out moral health checks on prospective bridegrooms for cautious families (a good double bind, because I could sneakily ask the bridegrooms if they wanted to pay for financial profiles of the families). For several days I was a dedicated private informer. When that palled I retrieved the big toe from an empty vase on a high shelf out of Nux's reach; and went down to the Forum to see if I could irritate Anacrites.
