“ 'Besides,' I love you too, but I'm not going to marry you.” She looked quiet and determined.
“You're not? Why not?” He looked stunned. “I thought that was what you wanted.”
“I never said that. I said I was having the baby. I didn't say I wanted to get married,” she said resolutely as he stared at her.
“You don't want to get married?”
“No, I don't.”
“But what about the baby? Why don't you want to get married?”
“I'm not going to force you to marry me, Adam. And I don't want to get married 'quietly.' When I get married, I want to make a lot of noise. And I want to marry someone who wants to marry me, not someone who
“Please tell me you're joking,” he said, dropping his head into his hands.
“I'm not joking. I'm not asking you for money, and I'm not going to marry you. I'm going to take care of myself.”
“Are you leaving me?” He looked genuinely horrified at the thought.
“Of course not. I love you. Why would I leave you?”
“Because you said I was mean last week.”
“You're mean if you want to kill our baby. But you're not mean if you ask me to marry you. Thank you for that. I just don't want to, and neither do you.”
“Yes, I want to!” he shouted. “I love you. I want to marry you! Now will you do it?” He looked desperate, and she looked calmer by the minute. She had made up her mind, and he could see it too. “You are the stubbornest woman I've ever met.” She smiled at him, and he laughed. “That wasn't a compliment. Oh, for God's sake, Maggie.” He came and put his arms around her and kissed her for the first time in a week. “I love you, please marry me. Let's just get married, have the baby, and try to do it right.”
“If we'd done it right, we would have gotten married, and then had the baby. But you'd never have married me then, so why do it now?”
“Because you're having a baby,” he nearly screamed.
“Well, get over it. I'm not getting married.”
“Shit,” he said, and went and poured himself a shot of tequila, which he downed at one gulp.
“You can't drink. We're pregnant,” she said primly, and he gave her an evil look.
“Very funny. I may become an alcoholic before this is over.”
“Don't,” she said gently. “It'll be okay, Adam. We'll work it out. And you don't have to marry me. Ever.”
“What if I want to marry you someday?” He looked worried.
“Then we'll get married. But you don't want to right now. I know it. You know it. And one day the baby would know it.”
“I won't tell him.”
“You might.” People did things like that sometimes.
“Why are you so fucking honorable? Every other woman I've ever known wants me to pay their bills, marry them, get them jobs, and do a million other things for them. You don't want shit from me.”
“That's right. Just your baby. Our baby,” she said proudly.
“Could they see what it is?” he asked with sudden interest. He didn't want this baby, but as long as they were having it, it might be nice to know what it was.
“I'm going back in two weeks for another sonogram. They can tell me then.”
“Can I come?”
“Do you want to?”
“Maybe. We'll see.” He had spent all weekend thinking he was marrying her, and now he was almost disappointed he wasn't. Everything about their life right now was weird.
“What are you going to tell your mother?” Maggie asked him that night at dinner, and he shook his head.
“God knows. At least now she'll have something to really bitch about. I think I'll tell her that I knocked you up on our first date, and you're Catholic, so she won't want me to marry you anyway.”
“How charming.” He leaned across the table, kissed her, and smiled at her.
“Maggie O'Malley, you're crazy to have my baby and not marry me. But I love you. So what the hell. Wait till I tell Charlie and Gray!” He smiled at her, and she laughed as they finished their dinner, and talked about how crazy life was sometimes. Theirs surely was, but they both looked happy that night as they finished the dishes and went to bed. This wasn't what they'd wanted or planned, but they were going to make the best of it, whatever it took.
26
CHARLIE DIDN'T CALL CAROLE AFTER SHE LEFT HIM ON the boat in St. Barts. She sent him a fax thanking him, but she felt awkward calling him, after the things he'd said the night before she left. She had no idea what conclusions he was coming to, the only thing she was absolutely certain of was that he needed space. She gave him a wide berth. It was all she could do. She grew more frightened every day. It was a full two weeks before he finally called her. She was sitting in her office when the phone rang. He said he was back. But he sounded strange. He asked her if they could meet for lunch the next day.
