Pierre launched into a description of what he had been doing on his estates, trying as well as he could to play down his own involvement in the improvements that had been made. More than once Prince Andrey was able to anticipate what Pierre was going to say, as if all his efforts were old hat, and although he listened with some interest he did seem rather embarrassed at what he was hearing.
All of which made Pierre feel awkward and quite depressed sitting there with his friend. He stopped talking.
‘I tell you what, my dear fellow,’ said Prince Andrey, clearly depressed and ill at ease with his visitor, ‘I’m just camped out here. I just came to have a look round. I’m going back to my sister today. I’ll introduce you. Oh, but you’ve met before, haven’t you?’ he added, obviously trying to be pleasant to a guest he now had nothing in common with. ‘We’ll go back after dinner. And now would you care to look round my place?’
They went out and went for a good walk until dinner-time, talking politics and mentioning mutual acquaintances, like two people who were rather distant from each other. The only things that sparked any animation or interest in Prince Andrey were the new homestead and the building work, but even on this subject, when they were up on the scaffolding and Prince Andrey was describing the plan of the house, he suddenly stopped in mid-conversation. ‘Oh, but this isn’t very interesting,’ he said. ‘Let’s have our dinner and get going.’
At dinner the conversation turned to Pierre’s marriage.
‘I was really surprised when I heard,’ said Prince Andrey.
Pierre blushed as he always did when this subject came up, and he said hastily, ‘I’ll tell you the whole story one day. But you do know it’s all finished, don’t you?’
‘For ever?’ said Prince Andrey. ‘Nothing’s for ever.’
‘But do you know what happened in the end? Have you heard about the duel?’
‘Yes, you had to go through all that, didn’t you!’
‘The one thing I thank God for is that I didn’t kill that man,’ said Pierre.
‘Why not?’ said Prince Andrey. ‘Killing a vicious dog is a good thing, really.’
‘No, killing is wrong. It’s bad.’
‘What’s wrong with it?’ retorted Prince Andrey. ‘What’s right and what’s wrong is something we can’t decide. People keep making mistakes and they always will, especially when it comes to right and wrong.’
‘Anything that harms someone else is wrong,’ said Pierre, noticing with pleasure that for the first time since his arrival Prince Andrey was getting worked up about something and starting to speak out. He even seemed ready to make a clean breast of everything that had turned him into what he now was.
‘And how do you know what’s bad for somebody else?’ he asked.
‘Bad! Bad!’ said Pierre. ‘We all know what’s bad for us.’
‘Yes, you’re right, but just because I know something is bad for me, it doesn’t mean I can do the same harm to somebody else,’ said Prince Andrey, getting more and more excited, and now evidently eager to let Pierre know all about his new attitude. (He was speaking in French.) ‘I only know two really harmful things in life – remorse and illness. There is never any good unless these two things are absent. Living for myself and avoiding these two evils – that’s my philosophy now.’
‘What about loving your neighbour, and sacrificing yourself?’ began Pierre. ‘No, I can’t agree with you! Living your life with the sole object of avoiding evil just so you won’t regret anything afterwards – it’s not enough. I used to live like that, I used to live for myself, and I ruined my life. And it’s only now, when I’m living – or trying to live’ (modesty called for this adjustment) ‘for other people, it’s only now that I’ve come to know any happiness in life. No, I just don’t agree. And I don’t think you believe what you’re saying.’
Prince Andrey looked at Pierre with a sardonic smile and said nothing.
‘Well, you’ll soon see my sister, Marie. You two will get on together,’ he said at last. ‘You may be right as far as you’re concerned,’ he added, after a brief pause, ‘but everyone’s different. You used to live for yourself, and you tell me it almost ruined your life, and you’ve only found any happiness since you started living for other people. Well, my experience has been the other way round. I used to live for glory. (And what is glory? It’s the same love for other people, wanting to do something for them, wanting praise from them.) In that kind of way I used to live for other people, and I did ruin my life, not almost – completely! And I’ve only found any peace of mind since I started living for myself.’
‘But how can you think of living for yourself?’ said Pierre, all worked up. ‘What about your son, your sister, your father?’
