I was very relieved when the château came into sight. I spurred up my horse and rode into the courtyard. One of the grooms took the horse and I hurried into the castle. Lisette, who must have been watching from one of the windows came running into the hall.
‘Lisette!’ I cried.
‘So you have come, Lottie.’
‘I want to see my father at once.’
She looked at me and shook her head.
‘What do you mean?’ I asked quickly.
‘He was buried nearly a week ago. He died the day after I sent the message to you.’
‘Dead! My father! It is not possible.’
‘Yes,’ she said. ‘He was very ill. The doctors had told him.’
‘When?’ I cried. ‘When did the doctors tell him?’
‘Weeks ago. Before you went away.’
‘Then why … ?’
‘He must have wanted you to go.’
I sat down at the big oak table and stared at the long narrow windows without seeing them. I understood now. He had known how ill he had been and he had sent me to England because of that. He had never had any intention of coming with me, but he had said he would just to make me plan to leave and then when we were on the point of departure he had said he could not accompany us.
‘I should never have gone,’ I said.
Lisette lifted her shoulders and leaned against the table looking at me. If I had not been so stricken I might have noticed the change in her attitude. But I was too shocked, too immersed in my grief.
I went to his bedroom. She followed me there. The curtains were drawn back showing the empty bed. I knelt beside it and buried my face in my hands.
Lisette was still there. ‘It’s no use,’ she said. ‘He has gone.’
I went through his rooms. Empty. Then I went to the chapel and the mausoleum beyond. There was his tomb.
‘Gerard, Comte d’Aubigné’ and the date 1727 to 1789.
‘It was so quick,’ I murmured and I saw that Lisette was behind me.
‘You have been away a long time,’ she reminded me.
‘I should have been told.’
‘He wouldn’t have it. It was only when he was unable to give orders to prevent anyone’s sending for you that I acted as I thought was right.’
I went to my room. She was still with me. Then I saw that she was different and had been since my arrival. Everything had changed. I could not understand Lisette. She was not unhappy. There was something secretive in her manner. I did not know how to describe it. It was as though she was amused in some mysterious way.
I am imagining this, I told myself. I am suffering from acute shock.
‘Lisette,’ I said, ‘I want to be alone for a while.’
She hesitated and for a moment I thought she was going to refuse to leave me.
Then she turned and was gone.
I lay in bed, unable to sleep. The night was hot … stifling. I was thinking of my father as I had never ceased to think of him since I had heard that he was ill and needing me.
Oh, why had I gone! Why hadn’t I guessed? He had seemed to grow older suddenly. I had thought that was due to the fact that he had lost my mother. Indeed, I had felt he never really wanted to go on living after he had lost her. And all the time he had known how ill he was and he had wanted me to go to England … to marry Dickon. He had been worried about what was happening in this country and had wanted me to find a secure haven outside it.
I thought of how happy I had been at Eversleigh—the rides, the walks, the verbal tussles with Dickon … how I had enjoyed them all. And all the time he was here … dying alone.
The door of my room opened suddenly and I started up in bed to see Lisette gliding into the room. There was an air of suppressed excitement about her.
‘I didn’t hear you knock,’ I said.
‘I didn’t,’ she answered. ‘It has happened. At last it is here.’
‘What do you mean?’
‘I have just had the news. Did you hear the noise in the courtyard?’
‘No. Who … ’
‘News,’ she said. ‘News from Paris. The mobs are roaming the streets and the shopkeepers are barricading their shops.’
‘More riots!’ I cried.
Her eyes were shining. ‘Great men are speaking in the Palais Royal gardens. Desmoulins. Danton. Men like that.’
‘Who are these men?’ I asked.
She did not answer and went on: ‘They are wearing the colours of the Duc d’Orléans … red, white and blue … the tricolor. And listen, Lottie, this is the most important of all. The people have taken the Bastille. They have killed the governor, de Launay and have marched into the prison with his head on a pike. They have freed the prisoners … ’
‘Oh, Lisette. What does it mean? This rioting …’
Again that secret smile. ‘I think,’ she said slowly, ‘it means the revolution has begun.’
It seemed a long time before the morning came. I sat at the window waiting …waiting for what I did not know. The countryside looked the same as ever—quiet and peaceful. At daybreak the household was astir. I could hear the servants excitedly talking. They shouted and laughed and I knew that they were discussing what had happened in Paris.
All through the day we waited for news. People were different. They seemed to watch me furtively and they seemed vaguely amused and secretive.
