I should have liked to see her. I wanted to tell her that Lisette was back and it was almost like the old times and how often we talked of her and wished she were with us as she used to be.
‘She doesn’t grow any better,’ my father said, ‘and we have now ceased to try to make her do so. She keeps in her own apartments, presumably happy enough with Jeanne.’
I asked if I could pay a visit to her room but Jeanne let us know that it would not be wise and might bring back unpleasant memories for Sophie.
Armand greeted me with that special brand of cool affection and Marie Louise seemed more remote than ever. My father said her piety increased every day and there was no sign of a child and not likely to be.
Charles welcomed me boisterously and declared he had thought I was never coming back. Chariot hugged me tightly and so did Louis-Charles. As for Claudine, she had become quite a person and now and then uttered a word which was not unintelligible and could walk a few steps. The nicest thing of all was that she knew me and clucked with pleasure when I took her in my arms.
It was good to be home and I was immensely relieved that I had kept my head and my virtue. Here in my home it seemed incredible that I could ever have come near to losing them; and as the days passed Eversleigh with its mad Griselda and Enderby with its ghosts seemed very remote—except perhaps Dickon. The memory of him stayed with me and came back to me vividly in unguarded moments.
Lisette wanted to hear all about it. I told her of Griselda. I did not mention my feelings for Dickon. I felt that was something to be kept secret. She listened and said it had been very dull at Tourville without me.
Charles had lost none of his interest in the war between England and the American colonies. In fact, I told him, he talked of little else.
‘Your people are fighting a losing battle,’ he said. ‘They should know themselves beaten.’
‘I cannot believe they are going to be beaten by colonists who are our own people in any case. It’s like a civil war.’
‘They are the worst. Moreover, my dear, they are going to have the might of France behind them.’
‘I don’t believe it.’
‘Let me tell you something. Your English suffered a massive defeat at Saratoga and at Court they are talking of nothing else but what this means. Our Louis has made a pact with the colonists. What do you think of that?’
‘Against England?’
He grinned at me. ‘Poor Louis, he wants peace. They had a hard task persuading him that he was not running a risk of war. I was getting into a bit of a panic, I don’t mind telling you, because I was fearful that war might be declared while you were still in England.’
‘What would that have meant?’
‘Well, communications wouldn’t have been easy. You might not have been able to get back.’
‘You mean I should have had to stay in England?’
‘Don’t worry. I should have come to fetch you. But it might not have been easy. In any case we are not at war, but the British Ambassador has been recalled from Paris.’
‘What does that mean?’
‘That the English are not very pleased with us.’
‘I pray there won’t be war between our two countries.’
‘You are safely home now, Lottie, and here you are going to stay.’
That summer came early. Claudine was growing up. She had had her second birthday in February and could now chatter to us and run about. She was an enchanting child with a quick temper and a desire to have her own way; but she was also affectionate and her moods changed so quickly that there were dazzling smiles after tears and most of the household were her slaves.
It was the beginning of July when we had a visitor. Lisette and I were in the garden with the children when one of the maids announced that a gentleman was asking for me.
‘He has come a long way, Madame, and particularly asks for you.’
I rose and followed her.
And there he was, smiling at me and looking certain of a welcome, making my heart leap about in an uncomfortable fashion and filling me with emotions which were hard to analyse.
‘Dickon,’ I cried.
‘Well, you look pleased to see me, Lottie. I knew you would be. I had business in Paris and being in France I knew you would never forgive me if I did not come to see you.’
‘You should have warned me.’
‘No time. It was decided that I should visit Paris so I came without delay. And here I am.’
‘Well, come in. They’ll take your horse. You must be hungry.’
‘For a sight of you.’
‘Please, Dickon,’ I said, ‘while you are here in my husband’s house … ’
‘Point understood,’ he said. ‘I’ll promise. My behaviour shall be impeccable.’
The maid summoned a groom while I took him into the house.
‘H’m,’ he said. ‘A fine place. I fancied a glimpse of Aubigné but did not call. I had an idea that your mother would make me less welcome. She has never really been a friend of mine. In any case I want to spend as much time as I can with my delectable Lottie.’
‘You promised … ’
‘A delicate compliment to a delightful hostess, nothing more.’
