‘No. I understand perfectly. You are following your custom of courting rich women. Well, my father is not dead yet and I pray it will be a long time before he is, but you may be sure that what he leaves me is not going to be added to what you have accumulated through your matrimonial manoeuvrings.’
‘Lottie, I have told you that if you were a peasant gleaning in the field … ’
‘You would want to make love to me, yes. I understand you perfectly, Dickon. And as you believe me to be an heiress you would like to marry me. Once more … Good night.’
I ran off, and I was rather surprised that he did not attempt to follow me.
In my room I lay in my bed staring up at the ceiling.
‘Go away, Dickon,’ I murmured. ‘Leave me alone.’
I mistrusted him and yet I longed for him. He was becoming very dangerous and I should have to be wary.
I spent a disturbed night thinking about Dickon, trying all the time to make myself see him as he really was, and to upbraid myself for wanting him in spite of what I knew.
He, too, might have been disturbed by our conversation of the previous night because he went off during the morning on horseback on what I began to think of as his secret missions.
I walked round the gardens with my father in the morning and he told me that Léon Blanchard had taken the boys on a ramble. They were learning something about forestry and botany and finding it very interesting.
‘They will be looking for specimens of various plants,’ said my father. ‘It is good for them to learn these things. Blanchard seems to have some knowledge on every subject.’
I said: ‘Dickon is very concerned about the position here.’
‘Ah yes. Who is not?’
‘He thinks it is getting more dangerous.’
My father smiled. ‘He would like you to return to England with him.’
I was silent.
He insisted: ‘That is what he wants, is it not?’
‘He has suggested it.’
‘And you, Lottie?’
‘I am going to stay here, of course.’
‘Is that what you want?’
‘Yes,’ I said determinedly.
‘He interests me, that man. I have never ceased to be grateful to him, you know. It was due to him that I found you and your mother. If your mother had not been so much afraid of him she would never have written to me and I should never have known of your existence. My feelings towards him are mixed. Your mother always disliked him and was a little afraid of him, I think. But I have to say that I have strong admiration for him. In spite of everything he might well be the man for you, Lottie.’
‘I should have to think a great deal about that!’
‘
‘Do you want to be rid of me?’
‘Heaven forbid! What I want is your happiness and if that takes you away from me, then … so be it.’
‘I should never be happy away from you.’
‘God bless you, Lottie,’ he said emotionally. ‘Bless you for the happiness you have brought into my life. I want you to promise me that if you should long to go with him—or to anyone—you will not let any feeling of duty, or whatever you feel towards me, stand in your way. I am old; you are young. Your life is before you. Mine is finished. Remember, that more than anything I want your happiness.’
‘And do you know,’ I said, ‘I want yours.’
He walked away from me for a moment. Then he said: ‘All will be well. This kingdom has stood firm in all the troubles which have beset it through the centuries. France will always be France. There has to be a future for our children. I won’t deny the fact that I want Charlot to inherit Aubigné. Of course, if by any chance Armand has children it would have to go to them first … but that is hardly likely. After Armand, it must be Charlot. I have drawn this up with the lawyers.’
‘I hate all this talk of wills,’ I said. ‘I want everything to stay as it is now. You have years ahead of you yet.’
‘Let us wait and see,’ he said.
At midday Léon Blanchard and the boys came back with their specimens which they had found in the woods and the countryside. My father was very amused by the conversation at the table, which was all about the amazing things which could be found in the forest and the meadows. They were going to spend the afternoon listing their specimens. On the days when Léon Blanchard was with them, they usually worked mornings and afternoons to make up for those days when he was with his other pupils—though he always left them work to do in his absence.
Dickon came back late in the afternoon. I saw him arrive and I watched while he left the stables and sauntered into the castle.
I was still thinking of him as I dressed for dinner.
Sophie was there. She was talking to Léon Blanchard when I came in; she was flushed and smiling, almost sparkling, as she did in his company. I decided to ask my father whether he would consider a match between them. I was sure he would give his approval for he was very impressed by Léon Blanchard, and as Lisette had said, he would be very relieved to find a husband for Sophie.
