11/22/63 полностью

Found myself trying to get out of bed, because I had to do something terribly important. It seemed to me that the whole world was depending on me to do this thing. THE MAN WITH THE COWBOY HAT was there. He caught me and helped me back into bed before I fell on the floor. “Not yet, son,” he said. “You’re nowhere near strong enough.”

Found myself talking — or trying to talk — to a pair of uniformed policemen who had come to ask questions about the beating I’d taken. One of them had a name tag that said TIPPIT. I tried to tell him he was in danger. I tried to tell him to remember the fifth of November. It was the right month but the wrong day. I couldn’t remember the actual date and began to thump at my stupid head in frustration. The cops looked at each other, puzzled. NOT-TIPPIT called for a nurse. The nurse came with a doctor, the doctor gave me a shot, and I floated away.

Found myself listening to Sadie as she read to me, first Jude the Obscure, then Tess of the D’Urbervilles. I knew those stories, and listening to them again was comforting. At one point during Tess, I remembered something.

“I made Tessica Caltrop leave us alone.”

Sadie looked up. “Do you mean Jessica? Jessica Caltrop? You did? How? Do you remember?”

But I didn’t. It was gone.

Found myself looking at Sadie as she stood at my little window, staring out at the rain and crying.

But mostly I was lost.

THE MAN WITH THE COWBOY HAT was Deke, but once I thought he was my grandfather, and that scared me very badly, because Grampy Epping was dead, and—

Epping, that was my name. Hold onto it, I told myself, but at first I couldn’t.

Several times AN ELDERLY WOMAN WITH RED LIPSTICK came to see me. Sometimes I thought her name was Miz Mimi; sometimes I thought it was Miz Ellie; once I was quite sure she was Irene Ryan, who played Granny Clampett on The Beverly Hillbillies. I told her that I’d thrown my cell phone into a pond. “Now it sleeps with the fishes. I sure wish I had that sucker back.”

A YOUNG COUPLE came. Sadie said, “Look, it’s Mike and Bobbi Jill.”

I said, “Mike Coleslaw.”

THE YOUNG MAN said, “That’s close, Mr. A.” He smiled. A tear ran down his cheek when he did.

Later, when Sadie and Deke came to Eden Fallows, they would sit with me on the couch. Sadie would take my hand and ask, “What’s his name, Jake? You never told me his name. How can we stop him if we don’t know who he is or where he is going to be?”

I said, “I’m going to flop him.” I tried very hard. It made the back of my head hurt, but I tried even harder. “Stop him.”

“You couldn’t stop a cinchbug without our help,” Deke said.

But Sadie was too dear and Deke was too old. She shouldn’t have told him in the first place. Maybe that was all right, though, because he didn’t really believe it.

“The Yellow Card Man will stop you if you get involved,” I said. “I’m the only one he can’t stop.”

“Who is the Yellow Card Man?” Sadie asked, leaning forward and taking my hands.

“I don’t remember, but he can’t stop me because I don’t belong here.”

Only he was stopping me. Or something was. Dr. Perry said my amnesia was shallow and transient, and he was right… but only up to a point. If I tried too hard to remember the things that mattered most, my head ached fiercely, my limping walk became a stumble, and my vision blurred. Worst of all was the tendency to suddenly fall asleep. Sadie asked Dr. Perry if it was narcolepsy. He said probably not, but I thought he looked worried.

“Does he wake when you call him or shake him?”

“Always,” Sadie said.

“Is it more likely to happen when he’s upset because he can’t remember something?”

Sadie agreed that it was.

“Then I’m quite sure it will pass, the way his amnesia is passing.”

At last — little by slowly — my inside world began to merge with the outside one. I was Jacob Epping, I was a teacher, and I had somehow traveled back in time to stop the assassination of President Kennedy. I tried to reject the idea at first, but I knew too much about the intervening years, and those things weren’t visions. They were memories. The Rolling Stones, the Clinton impeachment hearings, the World Trade Center in flames. Christy, my troubled and troublesome ex-wife.

One night while Sadie and I were watching Combat, I remembered what I had done to Frank Dunning.

“Sadie, I killed a man before I came to Texas. It was in a graveyard. I had to. He was going to murder his whole family.”

She looked at me, eyes wide and mouth open.

“Turn off the TV,” I said. “The guy who plays Sergeant Saunders — can’t remember his name — is going to be decapitated by a helicopter blade. Please, Sadie, turn it off.”

She did, then knelt before me.

“Who’s going to kill Kennedy? Where is he going to be when he does it?”