"There were pretty girls in Boston, and pleasant girls, and intelligent girls, and girls who would make wonderful wives and mothers. I paid attention to some of them, and they seemed to like me. But when it came to the point where I had to make a proposal or back off I realized, each time, that what I felt was not enough. It was not what I felt for you. It wasn't love."
Now he had said it. "Stop," Maisie whispered.
"Two or three mothers got rather cross with me, then my reputation spread around, and the girls became wary. They were nice enough to me, but they knew there was something wrong with me, I wasn't serious, not the marrying kind. Hugh Pilaster, the English banker and breaker of hearts. And if a girl did seem to fall for me, despite my record, I would discourage her. I don't like to break people's hearts. I know too well what it feels like."
Her face was wet with tears, and she was glad of the tactful dark. "I'm sorry," she said, but she whispered so softly that she could hardly hear her own voice.
"Anyway, I know what's wrong with me now. I guess I always knew, but the last two days have removed any doubts."
They had fallen behind the others, and now he stopped and faced her.
She said: "Don't say it, Hugh, please."
"I still love you. That's all."
It was out, and everything was ruined.
"I think you love me too," he went on mercilessly. "Don't you?"
She looked up at him. She could see, reflected in his eyes, the lights of the house across the lawn, but his face was in shadow. He inclined his head and kissed her lips, and she did not turn away. "Salt tears," he said after a minute. "You do love me. I knew it." He took a folded handkerchief from his pocket and touched her face gently, mopping the teardrops from her cheeks.
She had to put a stop to this. "We must catch up with the others," she said. "People will talk." She turned and began to walk, so that he had to either release her arm or go with her. He went with her.
"I'm surprised that you worry about people talking," he said. "Your set is famous for not minding anything of that sort."
She was not really concerned about the others. It was herself she was worried about. She made him walk faster until they rejoined the rest of the party, then she let go of his arm and talked to the duchess.
She was obscurely bothered by Hugh's saying that the Marlborough Set was famous for its tolerance. It was true, but she wished he hadn't used the phrase anything of that sort; she was not sure why.
