Frightened by the desperate look with which these words were spoken, he jumped up and was about to run after her, but, recollecting himself, sat down again, clenched his teeth tightly and frowned. This improper -as he found it-threat of something irritated him. ‘I’ve tried everything,’ he thought, ‘the only thing left is to pay no attention,’ and he began getting ready to go to town and again to his mother’s, whose signature he needed on the warrant.
She heard the sound of his steps in the study and the dining room. He stopped by the drawing room. But he did not turn to her, he only gave orders to hand the stallion over to Voitov in his absence. Then she heard the carriage being brought, the door opening, him going out again. But now he was back in the front hall, and someone was running up the stairs. It was his valet running to fetch the gloves he had forgotten. She went to the window and saw him take the gloves without looking, touch the driver’s back and say something to him. Then, without looking at the windows, he assumed his usual posture in the carriage, his legs crossed, and, pulling on a glove, disappeared round the corner.
XXVII
‘He’s gone. It’s over!’ Anna said to herself, standing at the window. And in response to this question the impressions of the horrible dream and of the darkness when the candle had gone out merged into one, filling her heart with cold terror.
‘No, it can’t be!’ she cried out and, crossing the room, loudly rang the bell. She was now so afraid of staying alone that, without waiting for the servant to come, she went to meet him.
‘Find out where the count went,’ she said.
The servant replied that the count had gone to the stables.
‘He said to tell you that the carriage will return at once, if you would like to go out.’
‘Very well. Wait. I’ll write a note. Send Mikhaila to the stables with the note. Quickly.’
She sat down and wrote:
‘I am to blame. Come home, we must talk. For God’s sake come, I’m frightened!’
She sealed it and gave it to the servant.
She was afraid to stay alone now. She left the room after the servant and went to the nursery.
‘No, this isn’t right, it’s not him! Where are his blue eyes, his sweet and timid smile?’ was her first thought when she saw her plump, red-cheeked little girl with curly hair instead of Seryozha, whom, in the confusion of her thoughts, she had expected to see in the nursery. The girl, sitting at the table, was loudly and persistently banging on it with a stopper, looking senselessly at her mother with two black currants - her eyes. Having said, in reply to the governess’s question, that she was quite well and was going to the country the next day, Anna sat down with the girl and began twirling the stopper of the carafe in front of her. But the child’s loud, ringing laughter and the movement she made with her eyebrow reminded her so vividly of Vronsky that she hastily got up, stifling her sobs, and left. ‘Is it really all over? No, it can’t be,’ she thought. ‘He’ll come back. But how will he explain to me that smile, that animation after talking with her? But even if he doesn’t explain, I’ll still believe him. If I don’t, there is only one thing left for me - and I don’t want it.’
She looked at the clock. Twelve minutes had passed. ‘He has received the note now and is coming back. It won’t be long, another ten minutes ... But what if he doesn’t come? No, that can’t be. He mustn’t see me with tearful eyes. I’ll go and wash. Ah, and did I do my hair or not?’ she asked herself. And could not remember. She felt her head with her hand. ‘Yes, my hair’s been done, but I certainly don’t remember when.’ She did not even believe her hand and went to the pier-glass to see whether her hair had indeed been done or not. It had been, but she could not remember when she had done it. ‘Who is that?’ she thought, looking in the mirror at the inflamed face with strangely shining eyes fearfully looking at her. ‘Ah, it’s me,’ she realized, and looking herself all over, she suddenly felt his kisses on her and, shuddering, moved her shoulders. Then she raised her hand to her lips and kissed it.
‘What is this? I’m losing my mind.’ And she went to her bedroom, where Annushka was tidying up.
‘Annushka,’ she said, stopping before the maid and looking at her, not knowing what she was going to say to her.
‘You wanted to go to Darya Alexandrovna’s,’ said the maid, as if she understood.
‘To Darya Alexandrovna’s? Yes, I’ll go.’
‘Fifteen minutes there, fifteen minutes back. He’s on his way, he’ll be here at any moment.’ She took out her watch and looked at it. ‘But how could he go away and leave me in such a state? How can he live without making it up with me?’ She went to the window and began to look out. In terms of time, he could already be back. But her calculation could be wrong, and again she started recalling when he had left and counting the minutes.
