Byzantium Endures полностью

It was dark, of course, when I left for the Quarantine Harbour and the Rio Cruz. In a troika, we trotted through heavy snow, through an Odessa still excited, still alive. Some would call her sordid, but even in death she held a warmth and elegance denied more famous cities. Catherine had founded her. Catherine’s spirit, at once cruel and intelligent, feminine and aggressive, remained in her. Catherine had courted Reason and been confused by Romance, but in her they had reached a kind of harmony that was Russian, though she was not. I saw Dietrich as The Scarlet Empress by von Sternberg. I loved it. It ruined him. The only Hollywood film of its day to lose money. We reached the harbour and to my relief the ship was active. People were going aboard. They were almost all rich Russians.

I do not think I was followed. Indeed, I have the idea my Commanding Officer might have given me the chance to escape. I have been shown considerable kindness. I do not deny it.

My papers were checked several times, first by Russians, then by grim-looking Englishmen. I walked up the gangplank. It vibrated under booted feet. I was on the deck of my first large ship. She flew English colours, but was probably a spoil of war, taken from some South American state which, in the heat of the moment, had decided to ally with Germany. Many of the signs were still in Spanish. I climbed another gangway. There was no one to help me with my luggage. I reached a forward cabin on the upper deck. I opened the door. Mrs Cornelius was not there. It was dark. I switched on the weak electrics. The cabin had been converted for two passengers. There were two bunks. There were washing facilities. I put down my bags and took out my cocaine. I had to keep certain thoughts at bay. The cocaine had its usual positive effect. I began to think of Constantinople. It would be warm there. I was very cold. The cabin had no proper heating system. I stretched out on the upper bunk, assuming that Mrs Cornelius would require the lower. Her luggage, several trunks and cases, was stowed in one corner, near the forward porthole. I was still ready for trouble. It was possible I could be taken off before the ship upped anchor. The Rio Cruz rocked very slightly. The motion made me think we were leaving and that Mrs Cornelius had missed the ship, but I knew enough to understand that the engines would have to begin turning before we would be able to head for open sea.

I got up from my bunk. I looked through the porthole. The sea was black, almost as if ice had formed on it. People came and went about the ship. I thought I heard shots, but from a good distance along the dock. I had left too easily and yet I accepted my good fortune. I had hardly questioned the fact that Mrs Cornelius would again be the means of my salvation. Wrapped in my Russian fur, I fell asleep.

I was awakened by grey dawn and a song. It was Mrs Cornelius. She was quite drunk. She had her hat on the back of her head. She was singing something from the British music-hall. ‘We don’t wanter fight, but by jingo if we do, we got ther ships, we got ther men, we got the money, too. We’ve fought the bear before, an’ while we’re Britons troo-oo, ther Russians shall not ‘ave Constanti-no-pol. Oops, sorry Ivan. No offence.’

She sat on her bunk. ‘I feel a bit queasy on boats, don’t you? Orlways ‘ave done. Oo-er.’ She was trying to remove her boots. I glanced at her wonderfully rounded calves. She sensed me behind her and looked up. She winked. She was delicious. Her perfume, her clothes, her confident womanhood. ‘Don’t worry, chum,’ she said, to cover my embarrassment, ‘I’m not ashamed of ‘em. I’ve reached me maturity, yer know. I’m used ter a bit o’ admiration.’ She stood up in her stockinged feet and began to ease her back. ‘Cor! Wot a farewell party that was! Anyway, we’re spliced, ain’t we? They tol’ me you was ‘ere when them sailors ‘elped me aboard.’

‘Do you mean married?’ I asked her. I was not fully awake.

She shook her head. Evidently she had made her mind up on the moral score, ‘In name only, Ivan, old fruit. See, I give me word ter that Froggy. ‘E ain’t much, but ‘e ‘elped me get art o’that ‘ell-’ole. An’ I like ter keep me word, if I can.’

I accepted her decision. It would be many years before we were married in the carnal sense. The ship swayed. She was not of the latest design and had no sophisticated stabilisers, no Pratt and Whitneys, although, I was to learn, she had been built on the Clyde. I still felt cold. Snow was falling on the ship. It settled on rigging and rails. I thought it would sink us. But everything was purified against the blackness of that water. It was impossible to see the city through the blizzard. I searched for the outline of the Nicholas Church. Odessa was lost to me, as Esmé was lost, as Kolya was lost, almost casually.