8 “my mother’s behavior”:
9 “I had become as thin as a skeleton”:
10 “My Lord, I make so bold”: Oldenbourg, 68
11 “Our good prince”: Kaus, 58
12 “I have had more trouble”: Ibid., 59
8. INTERCEPTED LETTERS
1 “If the empress would give”: Kaus, 50
2 “frivolous, indolent, running to fat”: Haslip, 34
3 “This horseplay will stop”: Herzen, 29
4 “If your mother has done something wrong”:
9. CONVERSION AND BETROTHAL
1 “She slept soundly”: Oldenbourg, 74
2 “I thought she was lovely”: Ibid., 75
3 “The forehead, eyes, neck, throat”: Ibid., 76
4 “I had learned it by heart”: Anthony, 84
5 “Her bearing … through the entire ceremony”: Ibid.
6 “real little monsters, both of them”: Oldenbourg, 77
7 “The ceremony lasted four hours”: Ibid., 78
8 “Our situation is the same”: Ibid. 64 “one was almost suffocated”:
9 “My daughter conducts herself”: Oldenbourg, 79
10 “There was not a day”:
11 “I know that Your Highness has sent my brother”: Kaus, 65
12 “use my influence”:
10. A PILGRIMAGE TO KIEV AND TRANSVESTITE BALLS
1 “pedagogues”:
2 “got into ours”: Ibid., 74
3 “We allowed only the most amusing”: Ibid.
4 “While we were enjoying ourselves”: Ibid.
5 “Knowing how easily excited”: Ibid., 75
6 “When my mother was in a temper”: Ibid.
7 “In truth, at that time”: Ibid.
8 “Never in my whole life”: Ibid., 76
9 “I was afraid of not being liked”: Ibid., 77
10 “My respect for the empress”: Ibid.
11 “I must say”: Ibid., 78
12 “The very tall Monsieur Sievers”: Ibid.
13 “washed her hands”: Ibid., 79
11. SMALLPOX
1 “uncontrollable in his whims”: Ibid., 82
2 “he confided his childish pranks”: Ibid.
3 “and was on such bad terms”: Ibid., 84
4 “was very much to my liking”: Ibid.
5 “she ordered me to go”: Ibid., 91
6 “Your Highness, my very dear niece”: Troyat, 39
7 “He was a man of great intelligence”:
8 “I read his remarks again”: Ibid., 86
9 “What a pity”: Ibid., 86, footnote
10 “semi-darkness”: Ibid.
11 “almost with terror”: Ibid.
12 “he came up to me”: Kaus, 79
12. MARRIAGE
1 “About as discreet as a cannon ball”:
2 “All the attention”: Ibid., 92
3 “We spent our time walking”: Ibid. 93
4 “As my wedding day came nearer”: Ibid., 97
5 “severely scolded”: Ibid.
6 “We had a long, friendly talk”: Ibid., 97
7 “Her silver brocade wedding gown”: Oldenbourg, 95
8 “The procession infinitely surpasses”: Kaus, 85
9 “horribly heavy”:
10 “I begged the Princess of Hesse”: Ibid., 99
11 “I remained alone”: Ibid.
12 “How it would amuse my servants”: Ibid.
13 “And matters remained in this state”: Kaus, 86
14 “There was not a single man”
15 “The following day”: Ibid.
16 “My dear husband”: Ibid., 100
17 “I would have been ready”: Ibid., 101
18 “was the gayest marriage”: Kaus, 85
13. JOHANNA GOES HOME
1 “Since my marriage”:
2 “At that time I would have given much”: Ibid., 102
3 “Our farewell was very loving”: Kaus, 89
4 “When the princess took leave”: Ibid.
5 “not to make me any sadder”: Anthony, 102
6 “I consider it necessary”: Kaus, 90
14. THE ZHUKOVA AFFAIR
1 “From that moment on”: Herzen, 46
2 “I thought I would faint”:
3 “feared that I had grown”: Ibid.
4 “My mother did not know Russian”: Ibid., 104
5 “Through my servants”: Ibid., 105
6 “It is difficult to find an explanation”: Ibid.
7 “As for the previous dress”: Ibid., 149
15. PEEPHOLES
1 “on the empress’s behalf”: Ibid., 106
2 “It seemed strange to us”: Ibid.,
3 “satisfied and pleased with me”: Ibid., 107
4 “I fear he may fall in love”: Ibid., 104
5 “At last my wish is fulfilled”: Kaus, 84
6 “this might serve his purposes”:
7 “He did not tell us what it was”: Ibid., 109
8 “a disrespectful little boy”: Ibid., 110
9 “let fly at him”: Ibid.
10 “We were dumfounded”: Ibid.
11 “She was like a Fury”: Ibid., 111
12 “One must admit”: Ibid
13 “We beg your pardon, Mama”: Ibid.
14 “had a great liking for the bottle”: Ibid., 112
15 “Your Highness should bear in mind”: Ibid., 116
16 “You talk and think of nothing”: Ibid.
17 “I cannot speak to you like this”: Ibid., 117
18 “The grand duke is asking for you”: Ibid.
19 “No, my father”: Ibid., 123
16. A WATCHDOG
1 “Her Highness has been selected”: Oldenbourg, 110
2 “In the two years I had been in Russia”:
3 “Now, as I was married”: Herzen, 66
4 “I know quite well”:
5 “I could not save myself by flight”: Ibid.
6 “such talk would displease the empress”: Ibid., 119
7 “In those days”: Ibid., 123
8 “Never did two minds resemble each other less”: Ibid., 129
17. “HE WAS NOT A KING”
1 “your father was not a king”: Ibid., 130
2 “Apparently, my words carried conviction”: Ibid.
3 “This was a dreadful blow for us”: Ibid., 127
4 “Within a few days”: Ibid., 128
5 “a gentle, reasonable man”: Ibid.
