“None officially for the moment. We're having a good time, aren't we? What more do we need than that?” Paris didn't say a word as she got out of bed and looked over her shoulder at him.
“I need a lot more. I need to know that I'm the only woman in your life, or in your bed at least, for the moment.”
“That's not reasonable,” he said simply.
“I think it is. I think this is a sad way for people to live. Life is about integrity and caring and commitment, not just playing and having sex.”
“Do you have fun with me?” he asked as he rolled over on his side and watched her. She was dressing.
“Yes, I do. But life is about more than just fun too.”
“Then give it a chance to get there. It's too early to be talking about things like this. Paris, don't spoil it.”
“You just did.” But she had to admit, he was honest at least. But not much else.
“If you leave it alone, we might get there eventually, but you can't force it.”
“And while we're ‘getting there,’ you want to sleep with other people?”
“I may never do it. I haven't yet. But yes, I could.”
“I don't want to worry about it, and I would. I would always wonder. Now that I know how you feel about it, I'm not sure I would ever trust you. How could I? Any more than you could trust me. You'd never know what I was doing. Except with me, you would know. That's the difference.”
“I don't expect that of you. Those are the ground rules.”
“What? Every man for himself, and screw whoever you want to? How pathetic. And how sad actually. I want more than that. I want love and integrity between two people.”
“I've never lied to you. And I wouldn't.”
“No,” she said sadly, “you just wouldn't tell me. Would you?” He didn't answer, and she stood and looked at him for a long moment. “If you ever feel differently about this, call me.” She wanted to say, if you ever grow up and decide to stop playing. “This has been wonderful. But it wouldn't be if I knew you were cheating on me. And to me, that's what it would be. I'm a very old-fashioned person.”
“You just want to be married, and control me,” he said cynically. “And if you're not married, you want to pretend you are. Well, you're not. You might as well enjoy it. And you're not going to control me.” It was the ultimate crime to him, a capital offense.
“I was enjoying it… for a minute… you spoiled it.”
“You're wasting your time,” he said, looking annoyed, as he got up and stood naked before her. “People don't play by those rules anymore. They went out with the Dark Ages.”
“Maybe so,” she said quietly, “but if so, I'm going out with them. Thanks for everything,” she said, and then walked out and closed the door. She stood in the hall for a minute, and then rang for the elevator. Part of her hoped that he would open the door and beg her to come back. And the rest of her knew that would never happen. She had learned a painful lesson. And whatever the ground rules were in Chandler Freeman's version of modern dating, Paris knew they weren't for her, and neither was he. Bixby had been right.
“Have I missed something? Or is Chandler no longer calling?”
She hesitated for a moment, and then nodded. “That would be correct. He isn't.”
“Did you two have a falling out? Or did you get tired of caviar and Ferraris?” He had a way with words, and she smiled at him. She had been upset for the first week, and she was beginning to feel better. But as well as hurt, she felt extremely foolish. She should have known better, but she hadn't. And he had never called her. He had vanished in a puff of smoke. She had learned something, but she hadn't enjoyed it. And she hated to admit it, but she missed him. He had been wonderful to her, and if nothing else, the sex had been terrific. For the first time in a year, she had felt like a woman, instead of a reject. In that sense, he had been good for her, but he had chipped away at a piece of her. Worse yet, she had given it to him.
“It didn't work out. I made a mistake.” She hesitated for a moment, and then she told Bix about it.
“The little shit. How sleazy.”
“Was it?” she asked Bix honestly. He was eight years younger than she, but he was far more experienced, and she trusted his judgment. She felt like she was in a time warp and had come from another world. And in some ways, she had.
