“No, a baby. God, I'd love that. It's what I do best, Bix, bringing up children.” For just a minute, there were stars in her eyes.
“Please!” he said, and rolled his eyes. “I hired you because you're a grown-up, single, your kids are out of the house, and you're not going to get pregnant, and give birth at our next party. If you go and get pregnant on me, Paris, I'm going to kill you!” But she wasn't thinking of getting pregnant. More and more lately, she had been thinking that she would be alone forever, and she'd love to adopt a baby. But she hadn't said anything to anyone about it, not even Meg, and surely not Bix. He would have had the vapors if she told him. And she didn't know if it was something real she wanted to pursue, or a pipe dream she had to cheat Father Time and delude herself that she was still young. Starting out with a baby at this point would be a major challenge, and she wasn't ready to do more than think about it yet. But the idea had crossed her mind.
And the following week she felt as though she had almost been psychic, when the subject of babies came up again. But it came up very differently this time. Meg called her to tell her that Rachel was pregnant, and expecting a baby in May. She was six weeks pregnant, and Meg admitted to her mother that Peter was thrilled. And when Paris hung up the phone, she sat staring into space for a long time, digesting it. There was no question now. He was really gone. His life was enmeshed with Rachel's forever. And she felt it almost like a physical blow to her heart and soul.
Much to her surprise, Wim called her the next day to tell her how angry he was about Peter and Rachel's baby. He thought it was a terrible idea, and that his father was a complete fool, and too old. Meg was a little more moderate about it, but she wasn't happy either. They both seemed to feel threatened by it, which surprised Paris at their age, since they were both out in the world and had spread their wings, and they would hardly see their father's new child. But it also told them that Rachel was there for good, and important to him. And even if only out of loyalty to their mother, neither of them was crazy about her. She seemed to devour their father's energies and attention, and had him wrapped around her two little boys, who never saw their own father. Meg said he was thinking of adopting them. The landscape of their family had certainly changed in the last year and a half. There was no denying it anymore. And somehow, in spite of the two children she adored, Paris felt like the odd man out. Wim and Meg would go on to their own lives one day, and in fact already had. Peter had Rachel and his new family, and was starting over again. And she was alone. Sometimes it was tough to swallow.
And as always when she was troubled, Paris buried herself in work, with Bix's help. They did the opening of the opera and the symphony, which were the two most major social events of the year, and a slew of parties to mark the beginning of the social season. They were nearly halfway through most of them, when Bix came into her office looking sheepish. By now she knew him well. They spent so much time together that sometimes they seemed like Siamese twins, with one brain. She could hear him in her head.
“Okay, you look guilty as hell,” she accused him. “What have you done? From the look of it, I'd say you booked three weddings on one date, or maybe four. Something equally nightmarish, I'm sure.” He hated to say no to anyone, and sometimes he booked four or five events in one day, which nearly drove them both insane
when they had to pull them together.
“It's nothing like that. I just had a thought.”
“Let me guess. You want to go to Carnival in Rio and do the entire event?…or… you're taking over Pac-Bell Park and turning it into a garden party…or you want me to fly the Rockettes in for some event and they won't come….” He was laughing at her, she knew him too well, but he shook his head.
“It's nothing like that. I want to do something I know you won't like.” Her eyes opened wide as he said it.
“Is Jane coming back? Are you firing me?” Her only fear these days was of losing the job she loved so much.
“Hell, no. I think she might be pregnant again. She said something about it when we last talked. She's gone forever. I'm never letting you go … but I want you to do something for me. Promise you'll do it, and we'll discuss it after.”
“Does it involve nudity or lewd acts in public?” she asked suspiciously, but Bix shook his head. “Okay, I promise. I trust you. What is it?”
