No, none of them had been unscathed by the implications of that business. Even Saks, Cook figured, had had his stomach ripped out by it. He might not show it, but if you looked real close, you could see it in his eyes: fear.
“Now listen,” Saks said. “I don’t want to alarm you dipfucks, but food is something we have to be concerned about. Eventually, we’re going to run out… then what? What happens then? What happens if one of us starts getting crazy ideas?”
“You already got that covered,” Crycek said under his breath.
“Yeah, well I wouldn’t talk, psycho.” Saks held his hands out before him to show that there was nothing up his sleeve. “This is something we have to think about. You guys are all hungry and I know it. This goddamn rabbit food Cook has been doling out isn’t keeping our bellies full.”
He had Menhaus’ full attention now. You could see it in his eyes, that caloric lust. Here was a guy intimately familiar with buffets and second helpings. Maybe his belly was shrinking, but his eyes were filled with an unflinching desire to sink his teeth into something.
“All right, Saks, that’s enough,” Cook said, once again the only voice of reason. “We’re all hungry. I’d love a cheeseburger or an order of prime rib, but there aren’t any restaurants out here that I can see. So just shut up about it. And as far as cannibalism goes.. . I’ll shoot anyone who even mentions it again.” He had everyone’s attention then and his eyes were flat and dark and menacing. “And you better believe that I mean it.”
Even Saks wasn’t smiling then. No, he had a new game now. Which was really old and just plain worn out through repetition. You saw it every day in prison yards and factories, boardrooms and barrooms… the stare. Any place men were gathered, you saw the stare. The intimidation game. My dick is bigger than yours and my muscles are harder than yours, don’t you look at me ‘cause I can kick your ass any goddamn time and you better believe it. You don’t intimidate me, I intimidate you. Yeah, it was childish and self-defeating, the last resort of weak minds. The sort of thing that should have been left in the high school locker room along with your dirty jock. But men never left it there. Cook knew they didn’t. Men were essentially weak, frightened creatures scurrying through life, seeing just about anything and everything as a challenge to what swung between their legs. Great stuff. You could see monkeys and lions practicing it on TV and men practicing it just about everywhere else.
And as Cook knew, the only men who practiced intimidation were those that were intimidated.
“Okay, Saks, you can quit staring me down now,” he said. “The playground is closed and I don’t play the big dick game.”
Fabrini burst out laughing and even Menhaus did.
“You might wanna watch it with that, Cook,” was all Saks could say. He had been cornered now, his infantile macho games dragged out into the open for all to see.
“Yeah, okay, Saks.” Cook smiled. “And Saks?”
Saks looked at him, never seemed to stop.
“Grow the fuck up already.”
Saks was boiling and Fabrini was laughing at him.
Poor old Saks, Cook thought, he never even realized that all his life, people were laughing behind his back.
“What’s that shit on your arm?” Menhaus asked.
Saks looked at him. Gave him the stare, too. “What the hell are you talking about, mama’s boy?”
But Cook was seeing it, too. All over his forearm… things like sores, great spreading red sores that did not look so much like abrasions or scrapes but like ulcers.
Saks pulled his sleeve down. “Nothing,” he said. “It’s nothing.”
“You better let me look at it, Saks. Doesn’t look good at all. Fabrini? Grab me the medical kit.”
But Saks said, “Keep away from me, Cook! All of you just fucking keep away from me! Be a cold day in hell I’d let a cock-monkey like you dress my wounds.”
“Then dress ‘em yourself.”
“Mind your own goddamn business.”
Cook folded his arms, shaking his head. “C’mon, Saks, you’re talking to the Big Cheese here. The health and well-being of all of you is part of the Big Cheese’s job.”
Saks recoiled a bit when Cook moved toward him and Cook stopped. Saks’s eyes had gone feral and simmering. He looked suddenly like he was capable of just about anything.
“If that shit’s catchy, Saks, you’re going over the fucking side,” Fabrini said.
And the thing was, even with the brief look at it Cook had had, those ulcerations did look catchy. There was something unpleasant and unnatural about them like skin tumors. Something morbid.
“You just try, Fagbrini.”
Saks shifted and they were all watching him, ringing him in now like wild dogs and he was feeling it, too, feeling cornered and threatened. A guy who liked to be the center of attention, but not prey. His hand inched towards the knife in his belt and Cook knew he’d cut anyone that got close.
Fabrini got a little closer. “What is that? Between your legs.. .”
Saks recovered now. “That’s my dick, and, no, I’m not putting it into your mouth.”
