"Stuff that's too classified to talk about using any method but telepathy," said Ender. Which was true—the existence of the M.D. Device was only on a need-to-know basis, and the secret had been well kept. Even the men who deployed and used the weapons didn't understand what they were and what they could do. The soldiers who had seen the Little Doctor consume a planet were dead, lost in the same vast chain reaction. The soldiers who had seen it used in one of the early battles just thought of it as an incredibly big bomb. Only the top brass understood it—and Ender, because Mazer Rackham had insisted that he had to be told what the weapons he carried actually were and how they worked. As Mazer told him later, "I told Graff, You don't give a man a bag of tools and not tell him what they are and what they do and how they might go wrong."
Graff again. Graff who decided Mazer was right and allowed them to tell Ender what it was and how it worked.
My slaughter of the formics—it's all here in the egg.
"You've gone off again," said the captain.
"Thinking about what a miracle starflight is. Whatever else we might think of the buggers, they did give us our road to the stars."
"I know," said the captain. "I've thought of that before. If they had just bypassed our system instead of coming in and trying to wipe Earth clean, we'd never have known they existed. And at our level of technology, we probably wouldn't have gotten out into the stars until so much later that we'd have found every nearby planet completely occupied by formics."
"Captain, this was a most excellent and productive tour."
"I know. How else would you have learned how to find the head on every deck?"
Ender laughed at the joke. Partly because it was true. He'd need to find a bathroom several times a day through the whole voyage.
"I assume you're staying awake for the flight," said the captain.
"Wouldn't want to miss any of the scenery."
"Oh, there's no scenery, because at lightspeed you—oh, a joke. Sorry, sir."
"Got to work on my sense of humor, when my jokes make other people apologize to me."
"Begging your pardon, sir, but you don't talk like a kid."
"Do I talk like an admiral?" asked Ender.
"Since you are an admiral, however you talk is like an admiral, sir," said the captain.
"Very cleverly sidestepped, sir. Tell me, are you coming on the voyage with me?"
"I have a family on Earth, sir, and my wife doesn't want to join a colony on another world. No pioneer spirit, I'm afraid."
"You have a life. A good reason for staying home."
"But you're going," said the captain.
"Have to see the formic homeland," said Ender. "Or the next best thing, considering that their home planet doesn't exist anymore."
"Which I'm damned happy about, sir," said the captain. "If you hadn't whupped them for good and all, sir, we'd be looking over our shoulder through the next ten thousand years of human history."
There was a stab of insight there. Ender caught it and then it immediately slipped away. Something about the way the hive queens thought. Their purpose in letting Ender kill them.
Well, if it's true, then I'll think of it again.
Ender hoped that optimistic thought was right.
When all of Ender's tours and training sessions were finished, he finally got an interview with the Minister of Colonization.
"Please don't call me Colonel," said Graff.
"I can't call you MinCol."
"Officially, a Hegemony minister is addressed as 'Your Excellency.' "
"With a straight face?"
"Sometimes," said Graff. "But we're colleagues, Ender. I call you by your first name. You can call me by mine."
"Never in my life," said Ender. "You're Colonel Graff to me, and that will never change."
"Doesn't matter," said Graff. "I'll be dead before you get to your destination."
"Hardly seems fair. Come with us."
"I have to be here to get my own work done."
"My work is done."
"I don't know about that," said Graff. "The work we had for you is done. But you don't even know yet what your own work is going to be."
"I know it won't be governing a colony, sir."
"And yet you accepted the job."
Ender shook his head. "I accepted the title. When I get to the colony, then we'll see just how much of a governor I'll be. The Constitution you came up with is good, but the real constitution is always the same: The leader only has as much power as his followers give him."
"And yet you're going to make the voyage awake instead of in stasis."
"It's only a couple of years," said Ender. "And it'll make me fifteen when we arrive. I'm hoping I'll get taller."
"I hope you're bringing a lot of books to read."
"They stocked a few thousand titles for me in the ship's library," said Ender. "But what matters to me is that you use the ansible to give us all the information about the formics that comes out while we're in flight."
"Of course," said Graff. "That will be sent to all the ships."
Ender smiled slightly.
"All right, yes, of course I'll send them directly to you as well. What, are you suspecting that the ship's captain will try to control your access to information?"
