“It’s worth it,” he said gently. “So are you. I’d love to see you.” She didn’t answer. She would have loved it too, but too much, and then they’d just be in the same mess again, and even more so, if Heloise had a fit once she knew. Natalie didn’t want to go there. But he was willing to now, more than he had been in June. He knew just how much he loved her now. The last three months had told him. Enough to fight for her with his daughter.
“I don’t want to screw up your life,” she said kindly. She looked like she wanted to move on. It had shaken her up seeing him, and she didn’t have the answers he wanted, just as he hadn’t for her before.
“Take care of yourself,” he said sadly, and moved aside. He had to let her go. He knew he had no other choice. She walked away, and then turned back to look at him, and he was standing there, watching her, in the rain. It was still pouring, and she stopped walking again and just stood there and started crying. He walked toward her then and put his arms around her. There was nothing that either of them could say. They knew the whole story, and how it had ended. And then he kissed her, he couldn’t help himself, he had to. She put her arms around his neck and kissed him back, and they stood there kissing in the rain, their bodies pressed together.
“I don’t want to lose you,” she whispered as they pulled away and looked at each other.
“You won’t. I promise. I won’t be that stupid again.”
“You weren’t stupid. You were scared.”
“I’m braver now,” he said, and she smiled. “Do you want to come to the hotel and get dry?” She nodded. They walked back into the hotel in silence and stood dripping in the lobby. They made a dash for the elevator, and the elevator man smiled at her. He was happy to see her again. He didn’t say anything, but he noticed that Mr. Martin was smiling for the first time in months.
Hugues let her into his apartment and went to get them both towels. She took off her shoes and left them in the entry hall and dried her hair first.
“We can have your clothes dried if you want.”
“Thank you,” she said politely. She walked into the second bathroom and came out wearing one of the hotel’s thick terrycloth robes. He was wearing one by then too, and he rang for the maid and handed Natalie’s mound of wet clothes to her and asked her to dry them. When the maid left, Natalie smiled at him. She was barefoot and naked under the robe, but he didn’t dare approach her.
“Tea?” he suggested.
“Thank you.” She had never expected to be here again, at the hotel, with him, in his rooms. She had tried to close the door on everything she felt for him, and so had he, and neither of them had succeeded.
When the tea came up, he handed her a cup of Earl Grey just the way she liked it, and she sat down and looked at him. She didn’t know what to do now. Was this a moment or a lifetime? Neither of them knew, and providence had brought them back together. She had been jogging in Central Park, and then it had started raining, and there he was. He didn’t say a word to her, he just reached out and touched her hand.
“I meant what I said to you in the park. I’ll fight for us, if you let me.” She didn’t answer, she just looked at him and set her cup down. She held out her arms to him, and he took her in his own. Her robe fell away, and then his did, and he carried her into his bedroom and laid her down on the bed and just looked at her.
“You don’t have to fight for me,” she said softly. “I don’t want a war. I just want to be a family so we can love each other.” He nodded. It was what he wanted too. He knew that now, and how precious she was to him and always had been. He didn’t say anything else to her then; he made love to her as he had wanted to for three months, and she gave herself to him with all the love and longing that had refused to die. And when it was over, they lay there together, shaken by what they’d almost lost and found again. And this time they both knew that whatever it took, they wouldn’t let it go.
HUGUES WENT TO see Heloise in Paris again in October. The weather was beautiful, and he was happy to see her, and she was excited about coming home. He never mentioned Natalie, but Heloise could sense that something was different. She questioned him about it over dinner.
“You’re all grown up now,” he said quietly. “Maybe we both are. I think I needed to grow up too. It’ll probably feel strange when you come home. You’ve been gone for a long time, living your own life, even living with a man.” He smiled at her. And she was loving her internship at the George V. “You’ve gotten very independent.” She looked worried at the idea of things changing. He was trying to prepare her for what was coming. But they had a good time anyway. He only stayed for four days this time. He had a lot to do at home. And when he got back, he made a suggestion to Natalie.
