Amazingly enough, Rupert seemed to be extremely happy being a demon. A rather remarkable difference to Tom’s opinions, Edwyrd thought. At least a difference to his original thoughts. He wasn’t so sure now. Being Edwyrd certainly made social situations easier to deal with, but being a demon did have undeniable advantages. As long as one was not enslaved that was. Tom could admit however, to understanding Rupert’s reticence about turning back into a scrawny human. Human flesh was really almost unbearably fragile and tiny.
What Edwyrd didn’t know how to deal with, was Rupert’s assumption that Tom was his father. The idea was absurd for obvious reasons. The most obvious being that it was physically impossible. Even if he’d been a demon all his life, rather than a few weeks, he was still only five to six years older than Rupert. The problem was that the kid was obviously so excited about being Tom’s son that Edwyrd didn’t want to crush his dreams so soon after being electrocuted. The other problem was that Rupert looked so much like Tom, that if he denied it, Rupert would be sure he was lying. After all, how could two completely unrelated demons looks so much alike? Actually, Edwyrd wasn’t even sure that related demons should look alike. How many demons had relatives? Or, at least, demonic relatives, he corrected himself, thinking of his parents and relatives.
Of course, if he completely explained the situation to Rupert, that he was just a brand new demon and couldn’t be Rupert’s father, Rupert might understand. The problem was, he was almost certain Rupert wouldn’t believe it. He knew Jenn would laugh in his face if he tried to convince her he really did look like Edwyrd. These people, especially wizards, were so conditioned about demons; they would never believe the truth. He had to admit, the longer he went on, the more he had trouble believing it.
Not that he didn’t believe it. No, intellectually he knew it, it was just the longer he participated in this shared hallucination about demons, the more he believed it. He kept finding himself thinking of demons as demons, fiends of the Abyss, not human beings in weird shapes. Kept thinking of himself as a demon disguising himself as a human.
Actually, this really frightened him. The longer he went on, the more he thought of himself as a demon. One would hope that being Edwyrd would help him get in touch with his humanity. On the contrary, it seemed. The longer he was Edwyrd, the less he wanted to be human. More and more he just wanted to switch back to being a demon. Was he losing his humanity? Already, his life in Harding seemed like it was in the distant past, and not just a few weeks ago. Edwyrd was frightened that if things went on much longer, he might forget all about his past life. He might stop wanting to go home.
A chill went down Edwyrd’s spine. No, that was ridiculous. He definitely wanted to go home. If he could, he would do it in an instant. Without any hesitation he’d give up this Edwyrd form, give up running around with nutso wizards for no good reason other than he gave his word. Give up his demon body and powers. In an instant he’d put Jenn and Gastropé, pains in the rear, both, behind him. He’d go back to Harding and forget about being a demon, forget about Rupert. He would, wouldn’t he?
Actually, he didn’t know. That scared him. What had these wizards done to him? What had he allowed himself to become. He wasn’t even sure of himself anymore. He didn’t know what he wanted. He knew what he should want, he just wasn’t sure that he did want it.
Rupert was one of the truest friends he had in a long time, even if the kid was friendly for the wrong reason. Boggy and Tizzy were pretty good guys too. While Jenn and Gastropé weren’t much, especially when he was Tom, they were at least as good of friends to Edwyrd as any he had managed to make in Harding. Sure, some of his old friends had been closer than Jenn or Gastropé, but closer than the others? Again, he didn’t know. Why couldn’t things be clear-cut and simple. Why must everything be a shade of ambivalence?
Edwyrd took a deep breath and knocked again. “Rupert? Are you awake? can Jenn come in?”
“Yes, I’d like to see her.” Rupert’s voice sounded like his old one, plus he seemed to be sounding weak, tired. Jenn, standing behind Edwyrd, smiled a smile of relief. Edwyrd glanced at her, seeing a lot of built up tension drain away. He opened the door a crack and stepped back. Jenn hurried in. Edwyrd glanced back to Gastropé standing in the doorway to the main deck, watching.
Tom heard Jenn talking softly to Rupert. She sounded like she was sobbing tears of relief, a bit. Suddenly, he distinctly heard her call, “Edwyrd!” Edwyrd quickly opened the door wide again and looked in at her. She was staring at him in surprise. “What have you done?”
“What do you mean?”
“His hair!” She brushed her hands through Rupert’s hair, “his face!”
