“Don’t even try it. Tracy and I talk, and I’ve watched the two of you since you started dating our freshman year. Once she quit being a ‘stupid girl’ and got out of her head, she’s quietly worked to be your friend. Tracy’s always there to step in and support you when you need it. You could have pushed her away after she broke your heart twice, but you were there for her when she faced her demons. And when she fell into depression. You and Pam were the only two who visited Tracy when she was in the facility.”
“I think Pam is her best friend,” I said to deflect.
“David, you can have more than one best friend.”
“Then why are you asking about Tracy?” I asked.
She smiled.
“Because you needed to know that she’s what I want to be for now. I bet you don’t believe in my ‘someday,’ but I do. I realize now what I lost. Talking to Tracy has brought that home in spades. She also knows what she’s lost and has made the best of the situation. I plan to do the same.”
“Still, I need to make amends for what I said.”
“I talked to your mom. She told me how you reacted when you found out Brandon was behind what happened. She also made me see your point of view, and even though I was sure nothing happened, I know what you saw.
“I also talked to your uncle, and he helped me realize that without you, Brandon would be free and there would be nothing we could do about it,” she said.
“What about you? I can’t imagine what it is like to find out you were … uh … you know,” I faltered.
“Right now, I’m okay. I have no memory of it happening, so it’s like it happened to someone else. Your uncle told me not to expect that feeling to last. He plans to get me in touch with a rape counselor near Wesleyan. To be honest, I expect I’m still in shock at the news.”
“I’m so sorry,” I said.
“Stop that! Brandon’s to blame,” she said, and then took a moment to get her emotions under control. “You can’t take responsibility for everything that goes wrong. Yes, if you’d done a background check, you might have uncovered it, but more than likely not. You don’t imagine that the deal he cut with the university was public record, do you?”
I reflected on it and slumped in my chair. I wanted to believe I could fix anything; after all, I was a guy. It sucked when the women in my life pointed out that I really couldn’t.
“David, we need to get past this. If we play that ‘what if’ game, we’ll all find things we should have done differently. All we’ll do is beat up on each other and ourselves, and this will ruin our lives. I don’t want Brandon to win. His goal was to ruin three almost lifelong friendships. After today, I want to look forward, not back. Can you help me do that?” she asked.
That sounded like my uncle. I just nodded.
“Good. We have to go talk to Alan,” she said, standing up.
“Why?” I asked.
“He’s a mess. He’s sure you hate him,” Tami said with a hint of a smile.
“I do hate him,” I said, smiling back.
“Good, be sure to tell him.”
◊◊◊
“David, I’m so sorry. This was all my fault,” Alan said as we walked into the kitchen.
“I hate you,” I said, which shocked everyone except Alan and Tami.
Tami began to giggle. This was so like us. We had each thought the whole thing was on each of us individually. If we’d only done x, y or z, then none of this would have happened. I could tell that Uncle John and Alan’s parents had been trying to dissuade him from his feelings of responsibility. Brandon had caused the whole thing. Tami was right, we had to stop the ‘what ifs’ if we were ever to get to the part where we became best friends again.
“I hate you more,” Alan said like we were seven again.
“I hate you both to infinity,” Tami said. That was what Jeff had always told us when Alan and I fought.
“We’ve all beaten ourselves up enough about this. It’s time we start the work to mend fences,” I said.
“I know how we can start. David has to take us to Monical’s and buy us pizza,” Tami said.
“Hey, why am I buying?” I asked.
“Because you didn’t believe your two best friends,” Alan said and then saw the shocked expression on my face. “Too soon?”
Tami gave me a hug.
“No. David needs to understand that he has to believe everything we tell him from now on. He also needs to realize that since he’s rich now, he has to buy us stuff,” Tami said with a smirk.
She was pushing it, but I was all for a trip to Monical’s.
◊◊◊
This didn’t turn out precisely like I expected it would. I’d assumed that just Tami, Alan, and I were going to Monical’s. Seems I was mistaken. The three of us did get our own booth, though. Everyone else sat at a couple of tables our server pulled together. Dad made sure that they knew I was buying. Damned sunglasses money!
Tami was quizzing me about the goings-on in my life, while Alan wanted to know all about
“When did he become such a jerk?” Tami asked.
“What do you mean?” Alan asked.
