After I ran for distance, I did my speed work. Paul got the honor of running with me, but he begged off the speed drills. I then had Cassidy work with me on my outfield exercises. I worked up a good sweat in the heat and humidity. The good news was the steam-bath air kept you loose.
When I finished, I decided to relax by the pool. Cassidy joined me because Kimberly had flown out last night, and Cassidy no longer had to help watch her. After our swim, we caught some rays and simply relaxed. I needed some downtime, just doing nothing for a while.
“Do you really think I have girlfriends?” I asked her.
“You’re kidding, right?” Cassidy asked.
“No, I’m trying to be serious. What you said has me worried. I never meant to lead anyone on, and I don’t want to hurt anyone either. I thought we were just dating and hanging out as friends,” I said.
“Be honest with yourself. Do you have feelings for them?” Cassidy asked.
“Well, of course I do. I love each of them in their own way. That doesn’t mean that I’m
“I thought I was in love with you when I first arrived at Lincoln High, but I learned that was more infatuation than love. I really liked both Jim and Wolf. The closest I ever got was with Jeff. I miss him so much sometimes. He was such a sweet boy, and I knew he was totally in love with me,” Cassidy shared.
We were both quiet for a few minutes as we remembered Jeff.
“I thought I loved Tracy, and I was pretty sure I loved Tami, but looking back on it, I’m not so certain. Why don’t I ever have any luck with girls? I can do almost anything else but figure out how to make a relationship work.”
“You really are a ‘stupid boy.’ Since I’ve come to Lincoln High, I’ve watched you do this incredible balancing act as you’ve juggled numerous girls. They all love you, but you can’t seem to get out of your own way to see it.”
“Then why can’t I ever seem to make it work? When I find someone I like, they either go crazy, like someone else, want to change me, or are afraid to commit. What’s wrong with me?” I asked.
“If you ask me, you put too much pressure on it. Your ideal of what a girlfriend is leads to always-and-forever. I don’t know of any girl our age who’s ready for that level of commitment. I expect they all ran because they didn’t feel like they could measure up to what you want. In my case, I know I’m not ready for it,” Cassidy said.
“Is that why you won’t date me?” I asked.
“Why would I want to be one of many?”
“If I ever get a girlfriend, there won’t be any others.”
“Don’t you think Halle, Zoe, Brook, and Pam know that? Why do you think they’ve never tried to pin you down? They all know if you decided on just one of them, it might not be them, and they’d be on the outside looking in.”
“Tracy has been pushing for me to find one,” I admitted.
“Tracy’s a crazy bitch who loves you to death,” she said and saw the shocked look on my face. “I mean crazy in the best possible way. Tracy would do anything for you and seems to believe you’ve finally gotten past your infatuation with Tami and are ready for more in your life.
“I expect if you talked to any of your girls, they’d probably agree that you’re in a much better place now than you were last fall. Believe me, no one wanted to be your rebound girl. Then everything sort of fell into place, and they worked it out so they could all date you. Pam almost screwed it up,” Cassidy said.
“By getting pregnant?” I asked.
“They were all afraid that would be a game-changer. I think if her dad hadn’t gone all psycho on you, the two of you might have locked it down. We all know what Greg did with Angie, and I don’t believe he loved her near as much as you love Pam.”
It was fascinating to hear how Cassidy viewed my world. It was apparent that the girls had talked to her about it. I never realized they were worried about Pam and me getting together. I guess the real question was, did I want anything to change? Did I want to finally pick a girlfriend? Did the romantic in me want an exclusive relationship?
If I asked Mr. Happy, he would tell me absolutely not. Of course, if he were in charge, I would be like Zak and trying to get laid three times a day. The more I thought about it, the more I realized Cassidy was right. I’d been doing a balancing act between commitment and being a horndog. I’d found a middle ground with dating.
“Why don’t we go back to my room and spend the day in bed? I bet I could make you decide that you were my one and only,” I teased Cassidy.
“I’m not sure you could do it, but I’d be willing to give it a try.”
“It sounds like you’re just horny,” I teased.
“Maybe.”
I wasn’t sure if she was serious, so I stood up. Cassidy gave me a little smile and got up as well.
“Are we doing this?” I asked.
“Shut up and take me upstairs,” she ordered.
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