Harry was sitting next to Ginny, holding her hand. His eyes were huge and devastated and his face was pale. He was chewing nervously on his lip. When Hermione laid her hand lightly on his shoulder, he started and looked sharply up at her.
He smiled thinly. A hospital smile. A rictus. The faint, wan tightening across the face that givers made with the intention of appearing encouraging or stalwart, but which alway just looked fractured.
When Ginny woke she would wear the same expression while she reassured everyone that she was fine; that she didn't mind her scar; that she really was fine.
Hermione smiled sadly down at Harry and conjured a chair in order to join him
“She shouldn't have come,” Harry said after a minute.
“The Order decided what the best unit would be, she wasn't there because of you two,” Hermione said. “Lucius' grudge doesn't have anything to do with whether you and Ginny are together.”
“I'm going to have to tell them not to pair us anymore,” Harry said, looking up from Ginny's hand to stare into the distance.
His expression was dazed and his bright emerald eyes didn't seem to see the hospital ward. Hermione recognized the expression. He was back on the mission, reliving it over and over, in order to berate himself over what had gone wrong.
“It was all my fault,” he said. His voice was small, quavering slightly. “I should have put the wards up sooner. The mission was so easy. Pointless. It was like a trip with her and Ron. Like we were camping for fun. I let my guard down.”
Hermione said nothing. It was confession. He was so stunned and grieved that he had things he needed to say. He just needed to verbalise it. He couldn't tell Ron. He felt too guilty to direct it at Ginny beside him.
Hermione had listened to a lot of confessions from those on bedside vigil in the hospital ward. Sometimes she felt like a priest.
“After we got away — when I saw it on her face — I froze,” he said after several moments of silence. “When I saw she'd been hit. I didn't — She started crying. And Ron stunned her. And I was just standing there. I just stood there while he was cutting her face up. I barely snapped out of it enough to apparate us back. Ron had to do almost everything. It was just like Colin. I just stood there.”
“No one could have saved Colin,” Hermione said quietly.
“I could have helped save Ginny!” Harry snapped suddenly furious. “What if she had died? And I had just been standing there? The woman I love — my best friend's sister. I just stood there and watched her face rot—”
He dropped Ginny's hand and shoved his glasses up, rubbing his eyes.
“What if she'd died? Or become like Arthur? Because I was careless and didn't put the wards up?” Harry's voice was trembling and his hands were clenched into fists. Hermione could feel the magic shivering around him as his guilt and emotions continued to grow.
Hermione summoned a flagon of Calming Draught and transfigured a piece of cotton dressing into a cup which she filled. She held it and waited for a moment in which to give it to Harry. If she handed it over too soon, it would be thrown into a wall.
“No one responds perfectly every time,” she said.
“It can't happen again,” Harry said flatly. “I'm not going to risk it.
Hermione said nothing, and after a minute Harry slumped against her. She slipped the cup of Calming Draught into his hand. Then she rested her head on top of his.
“She's going to be alright,” she said. “I promise. She's alright.”
Harry nodded, and Hermione gave herself a moment to just be with him. Her best friend.
Most days it felt as though they lived in separate worlds.
The boy who saved her from a troll. Who she'd brewed polyjuice potion for. Who she travelled back in time with in order to save his godfather. The friend she'd taught the accio spell. Who she'd set up Dumbledore's Army with.
He had carried on as a hero, but somehow Hermione's path had split off from his.
He turned to her as a healer, but rarely as a friend.
She laced her fingers through his chaotic hair.
“Ginny is in love with you, you know,” she said. “Don't push her away. Don't do that to her. Don't do that to yourself. You're already both in danger because of this war. You shouldn't give up the happiness you have. Don't let Tom take that from you.”
Harry didn't say anything, but he downed the Draught of Peace while he kept staring at Ginny.
“Can she hear me?” he asked after several minutes, his voice sad and hopeful.
“No, sorry. I put her in stasis until her bones regrow and I can fix the cut. It would be dangerous for her to move when her brain is exposed. She'll be awake tomorrow.”
They sat together in silence for several minutes until a silvery bulldog came barreling into the hospital ward.
“Potter, Granger, mission debrief in five minutes,” growled Moody's voice before the patronus vanished.
Harry sighed and stood up.
“I guess I'll see you in there,” he said, stroking Ginny's hand one last time.