I didn't know." We fell silent. The change of pace in our conversation allowed two of the other men to finish off and leave. The remaining two, who presumably knew one another, began a conversation about racehorses. Caninus was being very friendly. By the way, Falco, somebody pointed out a fellow recently who is supposed to be an uncle of yours." I was surprised to find myself known as a character around Portus – or to hear that my family tree provided wharfside gossip. Are you sure you don't mean my father, Didius Geminus? Everyone knows him for a rogue." " The auctioneer?" I was right. Everyone knew Pa, including naval investigators. It was no surprise. Geminus had shaken hands on plenty of dodgy deals. In fact, one of the men talking about horses cast a very quick glance at me then made his escape; maybe he had been involved in one of Pa's murky art purchases. The endless supply of Greek athlete statues that Pa sold off in Pompey's Portico were knocked out for him by a repro marble specialist down in Campania, but he had told me some rhytons and alabastrons which he supplied as cheap old" vases to interior designers came in by sea. According to Pa they were genuinely Greek and almost certainly old, it was the source he preferred not to discuss. No, I'm sure it was your uncle," Caninus persisted.
Fulvius," I conceded. Until last week I hadn't seen him since I was a child… Why the interest?"
I thought you might be working with him."
With Fulviusr
You were seen drinking with him and your father. Geminus came down here to look for Theopompus, didn't he?"
For heavens" sake!" I was amazed and indignant. I had a quiet drink with some relatives at a Forum bar; we only met by chance. Yet it got reported to you, and you decide we are an organised team? One that might tread on your toes, presumably?"
Oh…" Caninus could see it was ridiculous now, and backed off quickly. I was just in discussion with a fellow who thought he might have known your uncle abroad."
I don't even know where he has been," I said bluntly. He is most famous for setting off to Pessinus and getting on the wrong boat. That was years ago. As far as I know, it wasn't a boat to Cilicia." If it sounded as though I was telling Caninus it was none of his damn business, then fine.
Pessinus?" Caninus looked puzzled.
Ancient shrine of the Great Mother," I confirmed. I kept my tone solemn. He wanted to modify himself. Uncle Fulvius takes religion all the way."
I thought it was illegal for a citizen to mutilate his…
Yes, it is."
Or to dress up and dance about in women's robes?"
Yes. Fortunately, Fulvius hates dancing. But as you may know, citizens are allowed to give money to the cult. Uncle Fulvius is so charitable, he could not bear to wait for the annual festival in Rome. He just wanted to contribute to the upkeep of the eunuch priests as quickly as possible." I was inventing freely, unable to take it seriously, but Caninus lapped it up. He sounds intriguing."
With his lack of geography when booking a sea passage? No, I could not have had a more interesting uncle." Ma would have been proud of me.
And has he really cut off his whatsit with a piece of flint?"
Not as far as I know." Even if I thought Fulvius had done it, self castration was an offence and he was still my relative. I was not going to give the navy an excuse to lift his tunic and inspect him. They could get their thrills elsewhere. I stared at the attache, wondering just why my long-lost uncle so fascinated him. The fourth stranger, an unobtrusive man in his forties, was busying himself with a sponge. Caninus glanced at him then decided it was safe to continue. Without changing his tone or his expression, he told me the point. The word on the docks is that your Uncle Fulvius came back here after living in Illyria."
That's news to me," I retorted in annoyance. Last I heard, Uncle Fulvius was shark-fishing." I saw no reason to make polite excuses. I stood up and left.
