“That’s his new trick. He can also climb out of his bed and playpen. I dread to see what trouble he gets into when he can walk.”
Visions of him scaling the baby gate at the top of my stairs raced through my brain.
“How did you get stuck picking them all up?” I asked.
“Angie and Greg have tests this week, so I said I’d watch them,” she explained.
Then Peggy told me about Lucas, the guy who tried to break into our home-office computer.
“Fritz called me and told me they’ve identified Lucas. He’s a Ukrainian citizen whose real name is Mark Lukashenko. He’s here illegally, and Interpol has an active warrant out for him. Lukashenko is a suspect in several cases of confidence schemes and identity theft. Fritz said that they plan to deport him.”
I hadn’t expected that. My dad and uncle sometimes debated the issue of illegals, and at times their discussion got heated. I didn’t have a dog in the fight, so I left them to it. If pushed, it’s my opinion that if Mark was a criminal with warrants out in other countries, we should cooperate and send him to face justice. Other than that, no way would I touch the issue.
◊◊◊
Brook and Cassidy came in the back door to the chaos of all the little ones gone wild. I didn’t blame Brook when she stiffened at the sight. Mac and Kyle were chasing Duke, while Nate had a handful of Duke’s dog food (which I suspected would be in his mouth next). Little David was testing out his walking abilities, and Coby was in the process of climbing out of his high chair again. Meanwhile, Carol had decided she wasn’t happy and wanted to test out her lung capacity. Dear God! What had I gotten myself into?
“I totally understand if you want out of all this. Right this minute, I want out, too,” I said to Brook to address her concerns.
She took a deep breath, then walked over to Nate and fought him to have him give up his dog food. Cassidy bent down, and Little David came to her. His last few steps suddenly sped up, and he stumbled. Thankfully, she caught him. Peggy put Cheerios on Coby’s tray to distract him, and I picked up Carol. Tonight, my superhero ability didn’t seem to be working.
I was never so happy to see my mom walk through the back door. She had Scarlet with her, and I handed Carol off to her mom. Dad and Uncle John came in next, followed shortly after by Hana. Now that we had the little monsters outnumbered, we were at last able to get them settled down.
Dad motioned for me to follow him to the office. I knew something was up when he closed the door.
“The test results are back,” he said as he handed me an envelope.
The DNA test results had finally arrived. I didn’t stop to consider what it meant, I simply opened it. The letter said that, in fact, I was the father of all three of Ashley and Scarlet’s munchkins.
“Ms. Dixon talked to her family law specialist,” Dad continued. “He said that you should voluntarily set up an informal monthly payment system to support your children. In the future, it can be used as a pattern and sign of good faith if either girl decides to take you to court for child support.”
“How much should I pay them?” I asked.
“Ms. Dixon told me that the national average, according to the Census Bureau, was $430 per month.”
“That doesn’t sound like it’s nearly enough,” I pondered.
“I agree. Ms. Dixon’s firm has a calculator, and based on your monthly income …”
“Hang on. I have a monthly income?” I asked.
“What do you think Caryn has been depositing into your bank account each month?” Dad asked.
“My allowance?”
“For tax purposes, it’s your income,” Dad explained.
“So, she can’t complain about how I spend it?” I asked for clarification.
“Would you rather I have your mom monitor your spending?”
“I guess we got off track,” I said and quickly diverted the conversation back to how much child support I should be paying.
“Ms. Dixon said you would be expected to pay $884 per month for an individual child. The calculation is less per child if you do it based on three, but she said that we should start here. Ms. Dixon said that in your case, she would recommend you give them each a lump sum payment equal to eight and nine months of missed support payments to date. Then pay $1,000 per month to Scarlet and $1,500 to Ashley,” Dad explained.
The twins had been born early, in February. Carol was a March baby.
“What do you recommend I should do?” I asked.
“I would give them a larger upfront payment, then pay them what Ms. Dixon suggested monthly, and hope for the best.”
“Sounds good. I bet Mom will stop nagging me about providing her with grandkids now.”
Dad got serious.
“I wouldn’t bring that up if I were you.”
Sometimes it was better to listen to your elders.
◊◊◊
I came out, found Scarlet and Carol, and brought them into the office.
“Hang on while I get Ashley on the phone. I got back the DNA results,” I said.
While we waited for Ashley to pick up, I handed Scarlet the envelope because she clearly didn’t want to wait to know.
“I thought you’d forgotten about me,” Ashley complained by way of answering the phone.
