“Obviously, I’m disappointed. What’s killing me is this wasn’t even a football injury, and it’s keeping me off the field my senior year. This was supposed to be the run-up to our next state championship,” I said and sighed.
I took a deep breath before I began to wallow in self-pity. The scary aspect was that part of me wanted a drink. That single thought made me pause. The last thing I needed was to go back to the dark place I’d been right before Mom sent me to my uncle’s for the summer. I was surprised at how easy it would be to fall into that frame of mind.
“But I can’t think that way,” I said, looking straight into the camera. “I need to focus on getting well so I can get back on the field. I have every confidence that my teammates can win without me if I don’t make it back, but that doesn’t mean I’ll give up. Mark my words, I will be back for the Broadview game.”
“What about all the recruiters that showed up tonight?” Jeff asked.
There’d been an announcement that I might play tonight. I’d been told that Alabama, Clemson, Ohio State, Michigan, Oklahoma, USC, and a host of other schools would be here. They all wanted to see me in live action, to see if the injuries had done anything they needed to worry about.
“I know a few of them might have shown up to see me, but I never told them that I would play. The best I could’ve expected was that I’d be on the field as an emergency backup. The way I look at it, this gives my teammates and the players from St. Joe exposure. Maybe one of them catches the eye of a school, and they get offered.”
Jeff signaled that the cameraman should stop filming.
“Thanks. I know that wasn’t easy.”
“You’re right, but I might as well get used to it now. I’m sure that as I move up the levels, I’ll have to face worse than that. I’m glad it was you rather than someone wanting to make me look like a jerk and trying to provoke me.”
“If you’re amenable, I want to set up a camera in the booth and have it trained on you tonight. Are you okay with that?” Jeff asked.
“Anything you need,” I said with a half-smile.
“Somehow, I have this sense that I’m going to owe you.”
“I’m sure we can figure something out. Let me go get my head on straight,” I said and walked away.
◊◊◊
I didn’t do my online streaming video before the game, and that turned out to be the first clue to the fans that something was wrong. I hadn’t realized that so many people watched it until the calls and texts started coming in from people trying to find out what the deal was. The messages began to pile up, so I turned my phone off.
I found an empty classroom to hide in. I didn’t want to deal with anyone right now. It honestly scared me that I’d gone to that dark place so easily. Once again, I mentally thanked my uncle. He’d given me the tools to deal with the onset of depression and how to recognize the signs. Frankly, I think he was surprised I hadn’t gone there yet. His visit earlier in the week was to make sure I was coping.
I checked my watch; almost game time. I made my way to the press box.
◊◊◊
I was out of breath when I finally made it up the stairs. It wasn’t that I was out of shape, it was that I’d not taken my pain meds before I left school. The plan had been to numb me up with novocaine when the training staff taped me. At that very moment, I would have killed Zander if he were anywhere near me. Even though I’d said I wouldn’t go after the studio with a civil lawsuit, that didn’t mean I wouldn’t go after that piece of excrement. I made myself a vow to do so.
Moose and Coach Stephens were already in the booth, and the St. Joe coaches sat on the other side of a partition. I made a point to shake their hands and wish them luck. When I sat down, there was a video camera pointed at me. I smiled because if I decided to say anything inappropriate, I could simply reach over and turn it off before I did.
I arrived in time to see the St. Joe seniors get introduced to their home crowd with their parents. They’d put together a nice ceremony.
From up in the booth, you were able to see a lot more. The entire St. Joe team seemed to be fired-up, while we looked like we were going through the motions. We’d clinched the conference title, but that didn’t mean we should just phone it in. My blood began to boil because I feared we were about to get our butts handed to us.
We won the coin flip and deferred to the second half, meaning St. Joe got the football to start the game.
During their first series of plays, I started to gain confidence. Tim and the defense had come to play and forced St. Joe to punt. Ty drifted back as their punter boomed a long kick. When he made the first defender miss, I jumped to my feet. Ty was the most electrifying runner in the open field I’d seen in high school ball. That was the main reason Michigan had offered him a scholarship.
I think our crowd sensed that something special was about to happen because they all jumped up and began to ring their cowbells.
