“Okay, I’m sure you’ll all hate me for saying this, but I’m going to just say it. You hear it on the news. Female leaders saying stuff like
“So, you’re saying men have given up?” Ashley asked.
“As a man, I have to ask myself, what’s in it for me?”
“You don’t want to get married and have kids?” Scarlet asked.
“All I have to do is look at David and see how much work it is. The other side of all this is that women are willing to keep it casual. I go out three to four times a week and haven’t any problem bringing someone home most nights. I don’t need to get married to have sex. Back in the day, that would have been a deal-breaker.”
“Don’t you worry about ending up lonely?” Scarlet asked.
“Not really,” he admitted.
“I met a woman in Palm Springs who had a similar theory. She called someone like Chuck a ‘man-child.’ She was frustrated that she couldn’t find anyone who wanted to actually date and be serious. The woman basically said that boys just want to have fun,” I related.
“We’re never going to find anyone,” Ashley complained.
“That’s why I have a backup plan,” Pam said.
“This should be good,” I groaned.
“All I need to do is tell David, and he’ll marry me.”
“Really. I was thinking David might be
“Pam’s right. She already locked me down. Maybe you can make a deal with Chuck that if you’re both single at 30, you get married,” I suggested. “That way, he won’t be lonely.”
“You told her you’d marry her?” Ashley asked incredulously.
“I think I’ve asked her like three times,” I admitted.
“And you turned him down?” Ashley asked.
“Sounds like you better not ask her,” Chuck advised as he pointed his chin at Ashley to warn me.
“Shut it,” Scarlet said to Chuck and turned to me.
I held up my hands.
“Hey, Pam and I have known each other longer, and we’ve gone through quite a bit together. I would do anything she asked of me. I hope that as we get to know each other better, that at some point I can say the same about you two,” I said.
“Don’t let him fool you. He would do anything for you right now,” Pam said to blow my cover. “Those little ones trump anything for him. He’s what Chuck would call an ‘old school’ kind of guy. David fully intends to get married and have a house full of kids.”
“I just got a head start on the kids,” I admitted.
“That’s what condoms are for,” Chuck said.
“Yes, I’m well aware,” I said as I glared at him.
My mom could lecture me, but I didn’t need it from my security.
“Sorry. I was trying to be funny, but I think it fell flat,” Chuck conceded.
“You might want to pick your crowd a little better next time,” Pam said. She reminded him that all of them were well aware of what I hadn’t worn when I should have.
“I’m also sorry if I said some things that possibly offended you,” Chuck added to the women.
“No. I think we all knew what the problem was,” Scarlet said.
“Men,” Pam and Ashley said in unison.
“You should man-up and ask Scarlet out,” I said to Chuck.
Everyone looked at me like I’d lost my mind. Granted, I was always the last to know something when it came to people liking each other. But I had been getting better, and I’d noticed how they looked at each other when they thought no one saw.
“She does need a date for tonight,” Ashley prodded.
“Hey, I tried to hook you up in Mexico. I’m not giving up on you,” I said to remind him of the calendar girls we’d met.
The wimp had run away when I tried to get him a date with the models.
“Would you …” was all he got out.
“Yes,” Scarlet responded.
“Well, okay then,” Chuck said, looking a little shell-shocked.
“Don’t forget to pick up condoms,” I said.
“David!” Pam chastised me.
I just grinned. Like my mom, I did like to get my revenge every now and again. Poor Chuck’s face looked like he’d been suddenly sunburned.
“Now
“Hang on,” I said and got out my phone and dialed. “Hey, are you still in town?”
“Yeah. I probably won’t go home until Monday. We have meetings with Grace this weekend,” Kent said.
“I need you to do me a solid and take someone to the New Year’s Eve party tonight,” I said, playing matchmaker.
“If you’re suggesting, I trust she’s someone I would like.”
“Her name is Ashley, and she works for my mom. I think you’d have a good time.”
“Okay, sure,” Kent said.
“Good. Let me hand my phone to her, and you two make plans,” I said and handed the phone to Ashley.
“Now me,” Pam said.
“Sorry. You’re mine,” I said.
I knew that she and Tracy were going together. What was a best friend for if not your plus-one? That, and I knew that Pam wasn’t ready to date anyone right now.
“You still love me best?” she asked.
“Yes.”
That seemed to satisfy her.
