Precisely, sir. I shall be delighted to procure you butter." " But can I still catch that 10.21 ? " " I fear not, sir. But I have ascertained that there is another train as late as 11.50." " Then I'm on velvet." "
Yes, sir." I breathed deeply. The relief was great. " I shouldn't wonder if you couldn't even dig me up a packet of sandwiches for the journey, what ? " " Certainly sir." " And a drop of something ? " "Undoubtedly, sir." " Then if you happened to have such a thing as a cigarette on your person at this moment, everything would be more or less perfect." "
Turkish or Virginian, sir ? " " Both." There is nothing like a quiet cigarette for soothing the system. For some moments I puffed luxuriously, and my nerves, which had o
been sticking out of my body an inch long and curled at the ends, gradually slipped into place again. I felt restored and invigorated and in a mood for conversation. " What was all that yelling about, Jeeves ?
" " Sir ? " " Just before I met Chuff y, animal cries started to proceed from somewhere in the house. It sounded like Seabury." " It was Master Seabury, sir. He is a little fractious tonight." " What's biting him ? "
" He is somewhat acutely disappointed, sir, at having missed the negro entertainment on the yacht." " Absolutely his own fault, the silly little geezer. If he wanted to go to Dwight's birthdayparty, he shouldn't have started a scrap with him." " Just so, sir." " To attempt to touch your host for one and sixpence protection money on the eve of a birthday party is the act of a fathead." " Very true, sir." " What did they do about it ? He seems to have stopped yelling. Did they chloroform him ? " " No, sir. I understand that steps are being taken to provide something in the nature of an alternative entertainment for the little fellow." " How do you mean, Jeeves ? Are they having the niggers up here ? "
" No, sir. The expense rules that project out of the sphere of practical politics. But I understand that her ladyship has induced Sir Roderick Glossop to offer his services." I could not follow this. " Old Glossop ?
" " Yes, sir." " But what can he do ? " " It appears, sir, that he has a pleasing baritone voice and as a younger man-in the days when he was a medical student-was often accustomed to render songs at smoking concerts and similar entertainments." <( Old Glossop I " " Yes, sir. I overheard him telling her ladyshipso." " Well, I would never have thought it." " I agree that one would scarcely suspect such a thing from his bearing nowadays, sir. Tempwa mutantur, nos et mutamur in illis." " Then you mean that he is going to soothe young Seabury with song ? " " Yes, sir.
Accompanied by her ladyship on the piano." I spotted the snag. " It won't work, Jeeves. Reason it out for yourself." " Sir ? " " Well, here is a kid who has been looking forward to seeing a troupe of nigger minstrels do their stuff. Is he likely to accept as an
adequate substitute a white-faced loony-doctor accompanied by his mother on the piano ? " " Not white-faced, sir." " What! " " No, sir. The question was debated, and it was her ladyship's view that something in the nature of a negroid performance was indispensable. The young gentleman, when in his present frame of mind, is always extremely exigent." I swallowed a puff of smoke the wrong way in my emotion. " Old Glossop isn't blacking up ? " " Yes, sir." " Jeeves, pull yourself together. This can't be true. He is blacking his face ? " " Yes, sir." "
It isn't possible." " Sir Roderick is very amenable at the moment, sir, you must remember, to any suggestion emanating from her ladyship." " You mean he's in love ? " " Yes, sir." " And Love conquers all ? " " Yes, sir." " But even so.... If you were in love, Jeeves, would you black up to entertain the son of the adored object ? " " No, sir. But we are not all constituted alike." " True." " Sir Roderick did endeavour to protest, but
her ladyship overruled his objections. And, as a matter of fact, sir, I think that, on the whole, it is a good thing that she did. Sir Roderick's kindly act will serve to heal the breach between Master Seabury and himself. I happen to know that the young gentleman has been unsuccessful in his endeavour to extract protection money from Sir Roderick, and was resenting the fact keenly." " He tried to gouge the old boy ? " " Yes, sir. For ten shillings. I have the information from the young gentleman himself." " They all confide in you, Jeeves." <(
