“Besides, I know that your brothers and your father are tormenting you.”
“Yes, my brothers, too,” said Alyosha, as if thinking to himself.
“I don’t like your brother Ivan Fyodorovich, Alyosha,” Lise suddenly remarked.
Alyosha noted her remark with a certain surprise, but did not take it up.
“My brothers are destroying themselves,” he went on, “my father, too. And they’re destroying others with them. This is the ‘earthy force of the Karama-zovs,’ as Father Paissy put it the other day—earthy and violent, raw ... Whether the Spirit of God is moving over that force—even that I do not know. I only know that I myself am a Karamazov ... I am a monk, a monk? Am I a monk, Lise? Didn’t you say somehow a moment ago that I was a monk?”
“Yes, I said that.”
“And, look, maybe I don’t even believe in God.” “You don’t believe? What’s the matter with you?” Lise asked softly and cautiously. But Alyosha did not answer. There was, in these too-sudden words, something too mysterious and too subjective, perhaps not clear to himself, but that undoubtedly tormented him.
“And now, on top of all that, my friend is going, the first of men in the world is leaving the earth! If you knew, if you knew, Lise, how bound I am, how welded my soul is to this man! And now I shall be left alone ... I will come to you, Lise ... Henceforth we will be together ...”
“Yes, together, together! From now on, always together, for the whole of our lives. Listen, kiss me, I allow you to.”
Alyosha kissed her.
“Well, go now, Christ be with you!” (and she made a cross over him). “Go
“It seems we shall be, Lise.”
On parting from Lise, Alyosha chose not to go and see Madame Khokhlakov, and he was about to leave the house without saying good-bye to her. But as soon as he opened the door and went to the stairs, Madame Khokhlakov appeared before him from nowhere. Alyosha could tell from her very first words that she had been waiting there for him on purpose.
“Alexei Fyodorovich, this is terrible. It’s a child’s trifles and all nonsense. I hope you won’t take it into your head to dream ... Foolishness, foolishness, and more foolishness!” she pounced on him.
“Only don’t say that to her,” said Alyosha, “or she will get upset, and that is bad for her now.”
“Sensible words from a sensible young man. Shall I take it that you agreed with her only because, out of compassion for her sickly condition, you did not want to anger her by contradicting her?”
“Oh, no, not at all, I spoke perfectly seriously with her,” Alyosha declared firmly.
“Seriousness is impossible, unthinkable here, and first of all let me tell you that now I will not receive you again, not even once, and second, I will go away and take her with me.”
“But why?” said Alyosha. “It’s still so far off, we’ll have to wait perhaps a year and a half.”
“Ah, Alexei Fyodorovich, that’s true, of course, and in a year and a half you will quarrel and break up with her a thousand times. But I’m so unhappy, so unhappy! Perhaps it’s all a trifle, but it is a great blow to me. Now I’m like Famusov in the last scene, you are Chatsky, and she is Sophia,[121] and just imagine, I ran out here to the stairs on purpose to meet you, and there, too, all the fatal things take place on the stairs. I heard everything, I almost fell over. This explains the horrors of that whole night and all these recent hysterics! For the daughter—love, and for the mother—death. Go lie in your coffin. Now, the second and most important thing: what is this letter she wrote to you? Show it to me at once, at once!”
“No, there’s no need. Tell me, how is Katerina Ivanovna’s health? I very much need to know.”
“She’s still delirious, she hasn’t come to herself; her aunts are here and do nothing but say ‘Ah’ and put on airs in front of me, and Herzenstube came and got so frightened that I didn’t know what to do with him or how to save him, I even thought of sending for a doctor. He was taken away in my carriage. And suddenly, to crown it all, suddenly you, with this letter! True, it won’t be for a year and a half. In the name of all that’s great and holy, in the name of your dying elder, show me the letter, Alexei Fyodorovich, show me, her mother! Hold it up, if you wish, and I shall read it from your hand.”
“No, I won’t show it to you, Katerina Osipovna, even with her permission I would not show it to you. I’ll come tomorrow, and, if you wish, I’ll discuss many things with you, but now—farewell!”
And Alyosha ran downstairs into the street.
Chapter 2:
